Now some of you are wondering, what I could possibly clear up. I have many skills and you would be amazed at the useless but practical information I know.

I Am going to clear things up for the ladies out there. I am going to tell you all what a man wants. Now make sure you read slowly, otherwise you might get lost.

.... Okay dont loose me here, follow me on the steps ... its pretty complicated.... are you sure you are ready? Get your notebook out and pen. This will take a while. It will take great concentration. You sure you are ready? Its a lot of information at once..... Okay Here it is.... Here is what men want :

1. Food
2. Entertainment
3. Sex
4. Beer
5. Time with the Guys

(Not in that order of course)


Now for women its rather different process. You wont need a notepad and pen. Its pretty easy to follow. You could probably watch the television while reading this.
Here is what women want:

Surprises, but only if you mean it.
Time spent together, but only if you mean it
Saying I love you .... LIKE YOU MEAN IT
Wanting you to find out whats wrong with us when we say "Its Nothing"
Wanting you to leave us the hell alone when we say "Its Nothing"
Dont pretend to love our cats, we will know
Doing fun cute couple things together like going to the movies, dinner, theater, art classes and so forth
Watch chick flicks with us
Not spend 24/7 with the guys
Not spend 24/7 with beer
Have big long talks about anything everything during times that you wont pay attention and then get mad at you later
Hugs and kisses
No hugs and kisses when we are pissed off at you
Help us
Dont help us
Explain things to us where our knowledge is limited (cars, mechanics)
Dont explain things to us like we are stupid.
Show some emotion
Be affectionate
Dont suffocate us though
Be a little jealous at times
Dont be over jealous
Kill spiders and other icky creatures
open jars for us
Go out with our friends
Go shopping with us
Give us compliments when we say "How do I look"
Ask us how our day went
Make us laugh
.... Oh and good long sex