As you all know I am on my March break … (which happens to be in February ….totally makes sense). Now most breaks are meant to be relaxing and peaceful.
And if you are really lucky (aka spoiled kid who’s parents have too much money) you are somewhere on a beach. Or if you are even luckier you have a boyfriend who takes you to a beach ( I am so not jealous of my old roommate, who updates her status to “My BF IS THE BEST !! GOING TO CUBA IN 12 days” and who repeats this status update for twelve days).

I on the other hand am spending my break at home. Yeeeah that’s right, and I could be on a beach too if I wanted to be ! (A beach full of snow and ice, but STILL I can be there !)

So I am at home and hunger pangs strike. Searching the cupboards many times, opening the fridge at least three times (I am not sure why we do this …. In hope that the stuff in the fridge would change the next time we open it). There was nothing exciting to eat. At last I found something half intriguing, two bags of Macintosh apples. I grabbed one and it was all bruised and dented. It looked like one of the cats took the apple out of the bag and played with as if it were a soccer ball. So I took another apple, it was even worse it had holes in it and it looked awful.
What on earth is it with these apples? EVERY single friggin apple in BOTH bags had at least on bruise on them. I mean you set the bags down and BAM instant bruises. Any other apple and you can set them down throw them around and they are FINE. But oh not the delicious Macintosh apples! They just had to be delicate. Now some of you will say “There are other apples out there” Yes there are other apples out there, but they just are not the same.
My second apple of choice would have to be golden delicious apple (the yellowish one). The problem with that apple though is that it doesn’t have that satisfying crunch that Macintosh has. Nor does it have the sweetness yet tart taste to it. I’m sorry golden delicious you just don’t cut it as the best apple for me.
And then there is the classic granny smith. Now by the name you think it wouldn’t be so tasty. The granny smith delivers on crunch factor, but again it just doesn’t have that calculated balance of sweet and tart that Macintosh has. I just can’t abandon my favourite apple because of its delicate nature! So I grabbed the least bruised of the bunch and manage to eat around the bruises.


After toasting my self a master taster of apples, I decided to tackle the house. Now for all of those who have cats understand the constant battle of fur. The fur ranges from little specs that would attach themselves every part of clothing you have to the size of huge dust balls. Some are so big that they would attack your ankle and start chewing at like a mad dog.
I have three cats, thus we are most likely consuming more fur than our actual food intake. And thus our socks resemble some relative of the bunny family (minus the big droopy ears). One can not enter this battle of fur and woman with a broom. Unless you want your broom to look like it is a long stick with a bunny attached to the end of it.
One must be serious and bring out the big guns- a kick ass vacuum. Recently we got a new vacuum called ‘dyson- all floor’ . It is the canister type. Well once you start that beast up, you will have cats flying (which creates more fur on the floor), cats hiding in cupboards, on top of dressers, in the closet jammed back in the corner and so forth. The dog will be howling and you will wonder what that strange sensation is in your ear is (don’t worry it’s just a sign that you are most likely going deaf).
Once you settle into the high pitch ringing noise, its time to start cleaning. Well I began my rounds on the floor and realized that I was yanking on the vacuum. Why was I yanking on it ? Apparently dyson creates a cord that is about as long as a pencil. Okay I don’t know what this ingenious inventor thought when he made the cord, but seriously grey hair dude ??? Okay I was half way across the kitchen and what happens ?? OH THE CORD IS TOO SHORT!
SO I spent the rest of the day, trying to find outlets that weren’t there. I was attempting to plug it in the stove, fridge, microwave, walls, licking it, waving it about. But no sir I had to drag the damn canister about and find a friggin outlet that was the closest. And once you find an outlet, and you are almost done of vacuuming …….. Guess what happens? THE CORD IS TOO SHORT !!! ( Are you seeing a pattern here?)
So What did I do? I stretched my arm as far as it could go, with one leg in the air like a ballerina, and the floor tool as far as it could as well, trying my hardest to get that darn little piece of fur bit in the corner! Now I got all the floors done on the main floor….
It was time to tackle ……. The stairs. I plugged it in the outlet downstairs and began to climb the stairs while carrying the damn canister. And what happens? You guess it the cord is too short. So I was half way up the stairs, I set the canister on the stair even though it wouldn’t stay there since it was too big. The floor tool dangled and crashed down the stairs, as I tried to scurry down the stairs and grab the cord. As I did that the canister came crashing down the stairs at a velocity that seem set to kill me. Meanwhile I was at the bottom of the stairs with a dumb look on my face holding the limp cord in hand. The canister landed on my foot, the floor tool also came further down stairs. Did I give up oh no…. there were huge fur bits in EVERY corner of the stair.
Moral of the story, Apples are stupid, vacuums are even stupider,
But cats are cute