Life can be strange, and wonderful at times. As I mature, I discover more about life, the oddities, the complexities, the irony of it all. This is only something experience can provide you with an understanding (or lack of lol ).

As you can see I am in a rather reflective mood. Me reflective!!! ? *insert gasp here*

You see my mother's birthday is on Monday (We shall be celebrating it this Sunday). She shall be 50. (She would give me a ear full if she knew I was posting her age haha)

But you see as she gains another year in her life, I see her grow older. And part of it scares me. Part me wants to cling onto that image of my mom kissing my knee when I fell. Part of me wants to cling to the image of my mom hugging me when I got scared.

And yet a part of me knows I can not. For she no longer can hug, kiss, talk my fears, tears and anger away.

Yet I know as she ages, I wont know how the future will be for her. Will she be in good health? Will she have enough funds to live comfortably? Will she be happy? Will she be okay?

Is this what was like for her? Was it the same for her when I was growing up ? Did she have to give up the image of a happy little Sarah running through the grass? Did she have to let go of the image of little Sarah giggling with delight as the sun was bright?

Was she scared for my future? Was she worried about how will I do in life?

Its a scary process, watching the person you love the most age another year. And yet it is suppose to be a beautiful process.

My only hope is that I become half the woman she is. Because even if I was just half I would be great.