R.R.

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Life & Events > Difficult Thoughts
 

Difficult Thoughts

Its difficult to write a post I plan to write right now. Difficult because it might tell more then I really want. I just will give it a try.
A lot is going on in my head last days, but I was wondering if its good to talk about it here? Writing down things can help, I only can hope that things are read in the right way, cause I only have good intentions with it. I only wrote about my deepest personal feelings a few times here, but when I did that it felt good. I have read deep personal thoughts from others here as well. Its the anonymity of internet that makes it possible. Some issues need to be handled or spoken with a lot of care cause I don't want to hurt anyone at all.
As I told earlier I started chatting with a young guy about 10 days ago. Why I (or did he?) started that chat I don't know, it just was a good conversation which made me feel comfortable. Our talks became more open to each other and we seemed to have a lot in common. I assume that is what made it "click" between us. He knows I care about him, I wanted to give him advice on certain subjects and I tried to be a listening ear. Since the weekend however I noticed he kept my head busy more and more. Because I want to be honest with him I told him that last night. There is a kind of crush I never had before with a person I never met in real life. That also scares me a bit. I know age-difference isn't a problem for him but for myself it feels difficult. I even felt myself as "not normal" to have feelings for someone so much younger. On the other side I cant hide those feelings they just are there. There isn't a button I can switch which make those feelings disappear. Be sure I can manage my feelings but never thought these feelings were possible. He knows about it cause I talked it over with him, as I said I want to be honest. Point now is his feelings are the same. On one side that makes me feel honored a bit but on the other side it makes me feel "guilty" . How is it possible I ask myself. It will make life so difficult for him. True, it feels good when someone is attracted to you. On the other side we both know a real relationship isn't possible.
When I arrived at work today I checked mybloggers the way I use to do. He made a new post in which he actually says the same. That is something what made me feel guilty as well. Its hard to know someone has very mixed feelings caused by me. It is something that even hurts a bit. Sorry B for that, but as we said before, feelings perhaps are the most difficult things in life.
I can imagine a lot of people will disapprove my behaving, sorry for that. Feelings are difficult to deal with sometimes, they just are there, weather you like it or not. Feel free to react.
I wrote this post an hour ago and saved it on my pc for a while not sure weather I will post it or not. Reading it all over I only can honest towards myself so... posted it.

posted on Oct 28, 2008 2:39 AM ()

Comments:

I had the experience of falling in love with someone I met on the internet. I think, as you mentioned, the anonymity that this forum provides made it easier for me to bare my soul to this person. Also, my loneliness and my desire to love and be loved contributed to my feelings. It was wonderful to feel in love and beautifully painful to feel that exquisite sense of longing for another. As an after thought, it was likely more a reflection of my inner yearnings than genuine love, possibly for both of us. It didn't work. We finally met and the chemistry wasn't there, and we did not even have an age difference to overcome. The first time he kissed me I marveled at how someone I thought I loved so much could kiss so badly!(He did one of those open-mouthed, very wet and slobbery kind of thing.) We never made it into the bedroom, and after he went back home, he just sort of faded away. Well, it was beautiful while it lasted.
comment by dragonflyby on Oct 29, 2008 7:55 AM ()
David & I are 12 years apart but most of the time can't even tell.
comment by panthurdreams on Oct 28, 2008 4:46 PM ()
Boy! This is a tough one. First, I have to ask. Would you be willing to give up your wife for this very young man? I know men give up their wives all the time for very young women. I think that would be the first question you would have to resolve. Until you make that decision, there's not much point in speculating further.
comment by redimpala on Oct 28, 2008 1:01 PM ()
Feelings are just something that are there. We can't control them in ourselves, never mind in others. I am with James in that I think that it is sweet that you two have found a great deal of comfort, friendship and careing toward each other. That is something wonderful that should be cherished.
I think a part of your mutual feelings is that you two are able to really open up about your feelings on a shared situation. That is beautiful, but it is what it is.
As you have said, this is not really something that can grow further with situations as what they are. You both seem to see the limitations. The fact that you can both be honest by that means a lot. It will sting if it doesn't develop into more, but you see the reality all the same.
AJ
comment by lunarhunk on Oct 28, 2008 8:54 AM ()
I know you did, but ...
comment by stiva on Oct 28, 2008 8:36 AM ()
well,cannot add to much to this.Mike and I are 16 yrs apart.
I had second thoughts on this.But for me when you fall in love,age does not
matter.For me it is working out well.Even now I get sort of worry about
how he would handle this.So far he is doing fine.At least that what he
tells me.Go with your instinct and work it our from there.
Like a school boy crush.Had many of those.
Whatever you do,we are behind you.Good luck.
comment by fredo on Oct 28, 2008 8:22 AM ()
Martin has a better perspective on this than I do. He's a wise one, as you know. Sorry for my rambling comment earlier.
comment by stiva on Oct 28, 2008 7:43 AM ()
This is NOT reality--nothing will come of it in the real world-enjoy the 'crush' but keep it in perspective--no matter the legality there is an almost 30 year difference in age and though there have been May December romances that have worked they are few and far between--you also will not give up what you have so a little fantasy (kept in check)won't hurt--dream but while dreaming keep your feet on the ground--no 'what if' but what is--yes, at middle age (sorry about that) having a 'young one' interested is very flattering but it won't/can't go anywhere--and this is from THE romantic!!
comment by greatmartin on Oct 28, 2008 7:28 AM ()
He's not that young that's it's a (legal) problem.

You two are "trapped" in this now, as in, it would be hard to turn back.

How will it make life difficult for him and not for you? He is learning something about himself that you are awaking in him. He may be hurt by this, but that's up to him. You have more life experience than him, so it the whole experience is potentially different for you, but you may be hurt too. You will both have your experience out of this and hopefully some happiness along the way. What else is there?

As I wrote on his... You do what you can
comment by stiva on Oct 28, 2008 6:16 AM ()
Alright, as long as they are legal (look for photo ID)and you play safe then...

Just teasing you, but I honestly couldn't help but grin for you, that you have this sudden mutual crush going on. I know the excitement and feelings those situations hold.

That said, I know why this is a hard situation for you. Follow your heart my friend, (and be sure it is your heart you are following) and the rest will fall into place
comment by ekyprogressive on Oct 28, 2008 4:08 AM ()

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