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To: Sen. Barack H. Obama, Jr. (Jackass-Ill.)
From: Poobah Candidate Honey Jasper Mary Margaret Inconsolata Bugg (Who Gives a Shit-West By God)
My Dear Senator:
Well, Barry, it looks like you got the Jackass nomination all sewed up. My heartfelt congratulations to you and your talented campaign staff. I must tell you how proud I am of your campaign. Yes, America has turned a substantial corner. When I was growing up, back in the '50's and '60's who would have ever dreamed that a black man, better yet...a man of mixed parentage, would ever get this far in politics and be in serious contention for the highest office in the land? It does my heart proud to see you making such progress. You are a shining example of what is good about America. Like you have said in many a speech, and I agree, no where else would your story have even been possible. I can so relate to your life story, Senator. I myself am the result of a mixed...well encounter. Your parents were actually in love at one time and actually got married. Whereas I am the product of a a two day shack up between a drunken slut and a soldier in transit. But I digress. Your campaign holds out the hope of America...that any kid can grow up to be president...or at least run for president reguardless of his/her backround.
A few suggestions from a fellow campaigner, if I might be so bold. Pick John Edwards for yer vice. Hillary is good but we both know she will never except the second bananna slot. Plus a black man and a woman of any color would just be too much "change" to try an effect at once. I don't need to tell you how important it is for someone besides the Pacyderms to win the White House this time. Congress too, for that matter. Our beloved America is in grave danger from these neo-con nazis. Our freedoms, values, and way of life has all but evaporated, our economy is in the crapper, and our place of leadership in the world is in a shambles. That needs to change. Now God knows I don't agree with all of yer policies. Yer immigration policy, for example, is a complete clusterfuck. But I do agree we need universal health care and most of all, we need to get unentangled from that ridiculous war.
If you should get elected, I further recomend that you nominate Gov. Bill Richardson as your Sec. of State. I think he'll be a good one. He has the level headedness, finess, backbone and international experience you'll need to deal with those foriegn assholes. He'll be a good representative for our country and won't be some ass kissing butt wipe (like Condi).
Yes, my dear Senator, I hope you take all these recomendations and advice to heart when you assume the White House....IN EIGHT YEARS...because I am gonna win in November. The party in the Oval Office this year will be ME...as Grand Imperial Poobah!!!! So you and Hill need to keep yer day jobs in the Senate because a change is gonna come...and its gonna come on little(?) size 11 (mens) Bugg feet. So why not spare yerself the embarrasment and endorse my candidacy now, you car door ear havin', big toothed, no flag lapel pin wearin', shitty bowling, elitist. Believe me, its all for the best, SWEETIE.
reguards
yer always taking the high road pal
bugg
