Okay. Now, that President Obama’s long-form certificate of live birth was presented to the nation yesterday, reasonable persons should be satisfied that President Obama was, indeed, born in the United States. 

Right?

The reason that he did not produce his long-form birth certificate before is because Hawaii, the state where he was born, has a policy that forbids giving out the long-form birth certificates to anybody.  (They figure that the short form, Xeroxed copies should be proof enough for place and time of birth.)

Obama did submit a short-form birth certificate to public scrutiny a few months ago when the so-called “birthers” were claiming that he was born in Kenya, and, therefore, he did not fulfill the constitutional requirement that the President must be a native-born American.

It didn’t satisfy them.

When The Donald started clanging the Tea Party Bell a couple of weeks ago on the same subject, the President put in a formal request to Hawaii’s Health Director, Loretta Fuddy, asking for a waiver on the state’s policy regarding the issuing of long-form birth certificates.

It seemed perfectly legitimate to the Tea Partiers to force our government to waste its time confirming the President’s birthplace when there were much more pressing issues that it should have been dealing with.  (They didn’t have a shred of evidence that Obama wasn’t born here. None. They just wanted to hear themselves scream and rant irrationally. Kind of like my ex-wife.) The main reason that the question of Obama’s birthplace was even brought up in the first place was because, to some, Obama looks like he wasn’t born in this country (In other words, his race had a lot to do with the controversy. Talk about the ultimate in racial profiling, huh?)

Now that this ridiculous “trumped up” crisis about proof of Obama’s birthplace has been put to rest, I have a question:

Does Donald Trump look like a human being to you?

Seriously.

What actual, definitive proof do We, The People, have that Donald Trump is a human being? 

Don’t you think he kind of looks like the product of a union between an orangutan and a rooster?

I mean, come on!  THAT HAIR???? What human being in his right mind would purposely try to look that? Especially somebody with the billions that The Donald has at his disposal? 

When I look at the man(?) head on, his facial features strongly resemble that of Clint Eastwood’s co-star, Clyde the Orangutan in Every Which Way But Loose. And, a profile of Donald’s head, with that rooster’s comb on the top, is HIGHLY suggestive of an adult male chicken!

Look for yourself! The resemblances are striking! Enough so that they should raise strong doubts about Mr. Trump’s species to any reasonable American.

Although I am not constitutional scholar, as Sarah Palin obviously is and, apparently, everybody else who is even glancingly associated with The Tea Party, I am pretty sure that, in order to be President, you need to be human. (Don’t go quoting me on that point, but I would bet even money on it.)

So, because I believe in and love my country as much as I do, I feel it is my civic duty to ask Mr. Trump to produce his birth certificate to prove that his parents are, in fact, both homo sapiens. (I would even settle for the short-form birth certificate!)

I mean, I understand that Sarah Palin has already endorsed Mr. Trump because she likes what he stands for. (And, I must admit, his stances on the important issues of our time are still mysteries to The Great Unwashed, like myself.)

Usually, if somebody with the immense stature and unquestionable intelligence of Ms. “Caribou Barbie” Palin has an opinion on a subject, I would, of course, immediately fall into lockstep behind her.  And, I must admit, with Donald’s five bankruptcies and three divorces as evidence, I can think of nobody better qualified to get us out of our present national financial problems and help to ease our domestic social unrest.

However, at the end of the day, the man still looks like Foghorn Leghorn to me.

So, come on, Donald. What do you say? Put my nagging question to rest and just produce some proof of your humanness. How much effort would it take?

Seriously.