Da Grump is grumpy.
Things I hate about Christmas.
People- People can really piss me off this time of year. They are inconsiderate, rude, impolite and on whole just general assholes. I am beginning to understand why taking an assault weapon to the mall is a good idea. You ever notice that some of our fellow humans are just a waste of good DNA?
The Mall-just getting to the Mall could piss off Mother Theresa. Opryland had two mile backups of cars just trying to get to the parking lot. Now you want to talk parking place---ya right. You should have parked last June and waited. Oh and you are going to need a GPS to find you car after you leave the store. You will be parked about 7 miles away-pack a lunch.
Ya and do a head count, It can be embarrassing (and dam inconvenient) when you have to go back inside and find your wife. Just because she is having drinks with the sales guy from Bass Pro Shop doesn’t mean you are getting that new boat. I also suggest you chain the kids to the SUV so they cannot wander while you are gone. You might want to throw a tarp over Nana-that way her wheel chair won’t rust.
Cheerful service-forget it. You clerk has been on her feet for 14 hours. She makes $7.65 an hour. Her relief has not shown up in 3 days and the rumor is that her manager has run off with the Christmas bonus. All you are is pond scum with a Master Card.
Temp help. You know that 18 year old zit farm that is annoyed when you ask a question and they have to stop text messaging. I had one send me to another register because she didn’t know how to ring up cash.
Line Cutters—you know what grandma, I have been standing in this express checkout line for over 2 hours. You can take you, your walker and your box of Depends to the back of the line. Have a nice life! Ho-Ho-Ho
Here are some hints that might help:
Have ID-No, real ID-your bus pass is not real ID.
You cannot buy a toaster oven with a food stamp card. I understand the connection-they don’t.
Don’t write a check for two reasons. 1. Just because you still have checks doesn’t mean you still have money. 2. Well we are back to that ID thing.
Debit cards are great. Just remember debit is not credit. If you don’t have it-you can’t spend it. And please Sweet Jesus try to remember your pin number. If in doubt it is most likely your birthday or your last 4 of your Social Security number. Under Tennessee law I think after your 4th try I can kill you. I do know that no jury would convict me.
Well I feel better now.