1.       How many of those little catsup and taco
sauce packs do you have? No-not counting the ones under the front seat of the
car. I mean the ones you have squirreled away in the fridge since 1966 just in
case we have a nuclear attack and somehow there is a ketchup shortage. Part two
of this question is have you ever used any of them.  And part three-do you have any older than
your children?

2.      Have you ever forgotten your mates name while
making love? Are you still married to this person? I am not.

3.      Have you ever pulled up to a stop light and
heard brake noise, smelled burning rubber and had oil smoke drift over you. And
then said a prayer of thanks to God that it’s the other guy’s car getting ready
to blow up and not yours.

4.     Have you ever ordered a triple whopper combo,
super-sized it and then ordered a diet coke to make it all right?

5.      If you took Viagra and got one those 4 hour
erections they warn you about, you know where they tell you to seek medical
care. Would your wife keep you at home or take you to the ER?

6.      This is an old one but it still worries me.
Why do they put Braille on drive thru ATM’s?

7.     Have you ever seen Ray Charles house? Don’t
worry about it-neither did he.

8.      Have you ever gone to the “Dollar Store” and
only spent a dollar? Me either.

9.      Can you name all the Presidents you have
lived thru? Don’t forget Gerald Ford.

10.   Why do they “New and Improved” stuff when the
old stuff worked just fine.

11.   And when did I become my dad?