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News of two flamboyant hockey fans at a Vancouver Canucks game last Thursday has gone viral, making Towleroad.com and the Internet blogs. You might say they were trying to make a statement more than score a goal.
It seems that two Canucks fans showed up to the contest wearing bright blue wigs, red lipstick, cat's-eye glasses and large pearl costume necklaces -one sported an electric-blue boa -and were drinking beer out of fluted, rose-colored glasses.
To compound matters, they were sitting in the first row, right behind the Canucks bench.
Initially their distinctive T-shirts appeared to read "Hockey Luvin," but when a TV camera panned over the duo, the two young men removed duct tape from their shirts to unveil the word ‘homo’ under the phrase ‘Hockey Luvin.’
Team authorities then asked the pair to cover the ‘homo’ portion of their t shirt, explaining that it could be seen as ‘derogatory’ and offensive to the gay community. But the pair, ‘Henrietta’ and ‘Daniella’ refused. They were then removed from the game by team security.
The two men told the NHL blog Puck Daddy on Friday that they were both gay and “ardent Canucks fans for many long-suffering years.”
"We have made appearances at gay sports bars in Vancouver as the sisters Henrietta and Daniella with great hilarity and support," said the man who calls himself Henrietta. He didn't want his real name used in an email to Puck Daddy.
“This was not a stunt or done to be rude or offensive. We were there to show our and the Vancouver gay community's total and absolute support of our Canucks as they took the Presidents [Trophy] and begin their journey to the Stanley Cup.”
Inside the arena, they posed for photos with other fans and with families.
“We held back the word 'Homo' for the first two periods until we gauged the reaction of the crowd to our costumes, not wanting to be offensive," said Henrietta.
Canucks chief operating officer Victor de Bonis said Friday the organization has never encountered the issue before.
Bonis added that “the public use of any derogatory terms targeted at a specific group of people, whether based on ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation, is strictly prohibited” in the private arena. He said he didn't know if the staff were told by the men that they were gay.
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You’re assigned to train the troops fighting in Afghanistan about the new policy on openly gay people in the service. Imagine that you’re huddled behind a rock with three soldiers who have been pulled from their posts to listen to you. You have 30 seconds. Start talking.
You’re boarding an elevator and a colleague makes a derogatory joke about transgender people. You’re a well-known Human Resources employee. Two senior managers look at you waiting for your reply. You have just eight floors to address the issue. What is your “elevator speech?”
You’re sitting at a table with a straight ally, representing your company at a gay workplace conference. A gay person comes to your exhibition booth, picks up your company’s give-away rainbow wrist band, and makes a lewd comment about how he might use it. He then asks the straight man if he’s gay, and when he learns that he’s not, he says, “Oh, what a waste.” How do you respond before he walks away?
In all three of these situations, the last one relayed to me on Facebook as having recently happened, require a response. Not to say anything is a gross violation of your role as an employee, not to mention the moral imperative we all have to speak up.
The U.S. Army has begun gay sensitivity training and plans to have over 1 million people educated by the end of the summer. They will begin with chaplains, lawyers, and investigators. Next, they will train commanders in the field, and then 2.2 million active and reserve troops. Army Command Sergeant Major Marvin Hill has said the training is forthcoming in the battlefield.
So, start talking. You have thirty seconds. With that time limit, I’d say:
“Listen up. This is a direct order from your commanding officer. Gay people are allowed to serve openly. If you harass them in any way, with jokes, religious bullying, or ostracizing, you’ll be involuntarily separated. If you see it, report it. Am I clear?”
That was just 15 seconds. I’d then allow for questions.
What people need to know at the most basic level is: What is the rule? Where does it come from? What is expected of me? What are the consequences? Thirty-second talks don’t increase sensitivity. They change behaviors. That’s the first goal: Stop doing the bad things you might be doing. When you have more time to talk, you help the individual understand the reason for the rule, and you put a face on the issue. Change in attitudes will follow change in behavior, if safe space and time are given to the educational process.
From the first floor to the tenth floor, you have time to say, “Oh, my. It looks like we need some more diversity training. I know you didn’t have hostile intentions, but your joke is actually considered harassing behavior. The company is very serious about making this a workplace in which everyone feels safe and valued. Can you see how what you thought as ‘funny’ might make someone in this elevator feel unsafe or unvalued? There may be no transgender people among us, but one of us might be married to someone who is transgender, or have transgender children or family members. There are certainly transgender people who work among us. We just can’t make those kinds of jokes at work or when we’re representing the company offsite. I apologize if I’ve made you uncomfortable, but all of us are required by company policy to speak up. If we don’t, we can be disciplined. As an HR person, if I hadn’t said something to you, I’d deserve to be fired.”
To the obnoxious, emotionally-stunted gay man who felt free to speak so inappropriately in a work-related setting, I would say, “We haven’t met. I’m Brian McNaught. Our company would consider what you just said as sexual harassment. Wouldn’t yours? At work, or in a work-related situation such as this, we’re not allowed to make sexual jokes, or to demean a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. I was embarrassed when you asked my straight colleague here if he was gay, and then told him it was a waste that he was straight. Who do you work for?”
Many people remain silent in the midst of inappropriate speech or behavior because they insist that they don’t want to embarrass the person or make things worse. I think they usually are silent because they are so afraid of not being liked. There aren’t a lot of people like that in my circle of friends. There ought not to be a lot of people like that in the foxhole, elevator, or conference center. It’s not like it takes up a lot of your time to speak up. You can do it in 30 seconds or less.
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