My parody paean to the most recent state to come to
its senses. (How cool is it that both versions involve Angela
Lansbury?)
You coax the lobster out of its shell, Maine.
You have the
grit to boldly rebel, Maine.
Your sun may leave us splotchy
Augusta is the
land that time forgot.
But thanks to John Baldacci
The Pine Tree State
will let us tie the knot.
You make the sweetest blueberry pie, Maine,
Some
other states are wondering, “Why, Maine?”
Who cares that gays don’t live
there--
The point is that you went against the grain.
You scaled a craggy
cliff for us,
So crafty and coniferous,
We think you’re just
splendiferous, Maine.
You've brought the pine cone back into style,
Maine.
We’ll hold them as we walk down the aisle, Maine.
This meaty bone
you’ve thrown us
Will surely put our nation to the test.
And as an added
bonus
The Bushes may start summering out West.
You set the scene for
Murder, She Wrote, Maine.
You gave Millay such beauty to quote,
Maine,
Judd Nelson, David Kelley,
Dan Fogleberg plus Sarah, Tall, and
Plain.
If E. B. White could scheme it in,
And Shawshank could redeem it
in,
Then we could surely dream it in Maine.
You’re home to Colby,
Bowdoin, and Bates, Maine.
You’re one of 5 remarkable states, Maine.
But
they could not outrank you
Your coastline is the best we’ve ever seen.
And
when time comes to thank you
We’ll start by making over L.L. Bean.
We love
you Bangor, Portland and Bath, Maine,
Calais, Bar Harbor blazing a path,
Maine.
We praise you and salute you
For forcing civil unions down the
drain.
What once made folks feel jittery.
Now seems so glam and
glittery.
From Wells to York to Kittery, Maine.
Maine! Maine! Maine!
MAINE!
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