Martin D. Goodkin

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Politics & Legal > From Peter/clovis in Australia--sarah Palin
 

From Peter/clovis in Australia--sarah Palin


Hi... I thought you might be interested in
what Australian journalists are writing about your next Vice
President...

https://www.theage.com.au/opinion/welcome-to-this-years-blockbuster-20080916-4hui.html?page=-1

Welcome
to this year's blockbuster




The US VP candidate is gun-toting,
God-fearing proof that we are at the mercy of
morons.

I'M OBSESSED with
Sarah Palin. She's the first thing I think about when I wake and the last thing
I think of before I go to sleep. I google her a dozen times a day and manage to
bring her up in every conversation I have.
"You have
hair. Sarah Palin has hair. What a coincidence! She has big hair and it's brown.
Her kids have hair too. Their names are Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig.
Would you like to see a photo of Sarah's hair? Or her kids' hair? Or her husband
the First Dude's hair? She's a great mother, she went back to work three days
after giving birth to a disabled child. Of course, she didn't have to. She chose
to. She and the First Dude had little Trig's best interests at heart. Never too
early to instil independence. It toughens 'em up. Next stop? A bloody good
war."

I found
myself checking out Palin Facebook groups last night. The ones that amused me
included: Excuse Me, But Has Anyone Else Noticed That Sarah Palin Is Insane? My
Dog Is More Qualified To Be Vice-President Than Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin Is A
Bona Fide Whack Job. Librarians Against Sarah Palin. I Would Have Sex With, But
Not Vote For, Sarah Palin. And: I Would Rather Have A Mentally Challenged Goat
As VP Than Sarah Palin.

I'd been
thinking the US election campaign was dragging on endlessly until I read the
headline "McCain chooses woman for running mate." I loved that, "woman". Sums
the whole thing up. She's the closest thing Republican strategists could find to
a man with a vagina. No political party in the world would have had the genius
to dream up Sarah Palin. She's a social experiment with
lipstick.

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd likened the Sarah Palin story to the chick flick Miss Congeniality. I think of it more as
an in-flight movie. Like Dumb and
Dumber
. If you're after a laugh, check out the campaign poster for
McCain and Palin. The slogan is "The Ticket For America". The running mates look
like an old rich bloke with erectile dysfunction and his white trash trophy wife
wearing glasses so she looks intellectual and that.
McCain
strikes me as "a bit of a fall" away from stewed prunes and dribbling, and she
looks as hungry and deranged as Anna Nicole Smith. "Hey, Johnny, why don't y'all
take up smoking! It's not too late. Have another spoon of cholesterol. Where's
that special button you done talked about that blows up countries? Bristol's
boyfriend's Xbox isn't working and he's bored."

I'm not
proud of it but to be honest, the comedy writer in me really, really hopes Palin
gets in. Shooting, hunting, God-fearing, anti-abortion, book-banning,
homophobic, white trash moron. I'd love to see the White House lawn covered in
cars up on blocks. Male, female, goat or goldfish, Palin is a writer's dream. I
wish I had the imagination to invent her.

And the
hits just keep on coming. Each day there's another titbit that draws me in. "She
what? Not only believes that abstinence should be the only form of contraception
taught in schools and she slashed funding to a program for teenage mothers but
she charged victims of sexual assault for their own rape kits. I don't even know
what rape kits are but I sure as hell know you don't charge people for them."
And how does that whole guns and God thing work? "Say a prayer and the merciful
Lord will protect us. And if he doesn't, pass me the
Uzi."

The only
problem with Sarah Palin is that she's real. And, like it or not, she'll be used
as an example of a female politician. Regardless of the fact she should be filed
under dangerous white trash fuelled by fear, propelled by power and supported by
halfwits.

I have two
long-held beliefs. First, people should have to pass an intelligence test before
they're allowed to vote and second, that the rest of the world should be able to
vote in the US elections because the outcome affects us as much as them. If not
more.

Like most
people, I believe in democracy. As long as everybody else votes the same way I
do. The problems with democracy are that a) not everyone makes an informed
choice and b) if they do, what informs that choice. We're at the mercy of the
morons. People who vote for race, gender, class and politicians who massage
people's prejudices and reinforce beliefs fertilised by
fear.

Sarah Palin
personifies the cockiness of ignorance. Bertrand Russell said: "Fools and
fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of
doubts." Pass me the popcorn, I can't wait to see how this movie
ends.

posted on Sept 18, 2008 7:13 AM ()

Comments:

She charged victims of rape for their own rape kit????? That's just sick!
comment by hopefields on Sept 19, 2008 12:28 AM ()
Nicely done
comment by fredo on Sept 18, 2008 10:11 AM ()
This was so funny!
AJ
comment by lunarhunk on Sept 18, 2008 9:13 AM ()
...shudder....
comment by looserobes on Sept 18, 2008 7:42 AM ()
well written ...
comment by itsjustme on Sept 18, 2008 7:26 AM ()

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