(Andi
on my shoulder--how could I be lonely?)



It took me
50 years, 4 exes, innumerable mini-affairs to realize that I
prefer, enjoy, need to live alone.

I make/am a great friend,
adviser, listener but as a life partner a dud. It could be I am too
selfish, unwilling to compromise when it comes to ME, unable to sustain a
physical relationship with one person over any length of time or a
million other reasons. And
it's NOT that I haven't found the right person--I did in 1981 but it
couldn't/didn't last.

Why do I like living alone and don't feel
lonely? Let me tackle the latter first.

I have 7 different, very
close friends. If I want to go out to a movie or play, attend an event,
spend time at the beach, share a joyful time, cry on someones shoulder
or just talk they are available. If I want to have a physical encounter I
have a group of people to call upon.

Now as to not being/feeling
lonely: I have many interests such as reading and writing that take up a
lot of my time and there are only 2 things I don't/won't do alone--have
sex and eat out in a fine restaurant.

Advantages of living
alone:
1) I can come home and not have to worry about how the person I
live with is feeling, what kind of mood they are in.
2) If I don't
want the TV on it stays off.
3) I can watch what programs I want nor
do I have to buy another TV to solve 'arguments'.
4) I have the whole
bed to myself.
5) I do what I want when I want
6) I can eat, read
or do anything else I want in bed without having to worry about
annoying/disturbing someone.
7) I can eat what I want when I want.
8)
I can get up or go to sleep when I want.
9) I can smoke, fart, pick
my nose, scratch my butt (Oh, I know YOU don't do any of these things)
use my fingers to eat (Oops! Maybe I should have listed this separately
after the other things mentioned :o)) without any comments or put downs
or silly laughs
10) I don't have to hide anything, including what i
watch or put on the Internet.
11) Not having a person talk when I am
watching and/or doing something when I prefer quiet.
12) I like to
vacation, take trips alone, and stop/see where/what I want for as long
as I want.
13) I can be sloppy or neat, clean after myself or not
without 'nagging'.
14) I can be responsible for myself only and not
for someone else.
15) I can have the a/c on or off--depending how I
feel.
16) I can say and/or think "I" as much as I want.
17) I
won't/don't do anything I don't want to do.
18) I can eat the whole
cake, box of chocolates or cookies, bag of potato chips, etc. myself. (I
told you I was selfish!)
19) If I run out of something it's my
fault.
20) I don't have to lie--not even a 'white' lie.


And
the list can go on.

The only advantage I can see to having a
live in partner is that when you get old and/or sick someone can take
care of you.
Besides all I have seen or read about partners, gay or nongay,
are the
problems they had or are having.
And I
have the birds who, when they are noisy or talking back, all I have to
do is cover them and peace reigns--can you do that with whomever you are
living with?

Plus I don't have to go through the
heartache of a breakup :o)