The last few days have been very unsettling for/to
me and I am trying to figure out why.

When Gino called to take me out for my unbirthday I
asked if I could have a rain check--now, let's face it, that's weird--me turn a
meal down?!?! (He did give me a rain check so we will go next weekend.)

I didn't blog on Thursday and really haven't written
anything personal for a few days--I did want to post a 'happy birthday' blog for
Kota but what I planned on doing didn't work out!

I think what is causing the underlying unrest is
that, though I know better, 3-4 people I know have let me down. Granted they
aren't close friends but still when I depend/rely on people to keep their word,
to make and keep a commitment, to say that they will do something they will
follow through, that they do/will. One, I feel, has taken advantage of me and I
will have to see if that is a valid feeling on my part.

I think it is because I truly believe in, and trust,
people and when that comes into question I feel let down. I don't like feeling
disappointed in people but I am old enough to know that people can and will
disappoint other people. None of what has happened is major and none of what
people did or didn't do will change my life in any great way but it makes me
question the basic decency of individuals.

I recently read somewhere that most readers of blogs
will only read the first thirty lines and then go on to another one--seems our
attention span, or need to know, will only last so long. I have monitored myself
on this and I do know that if I am not interested in a subject that thirty line
statement applies BUT in most cases I will completely read most of the blogs I
subscribe to.

I go to the dentist on Monday to have a tooth
pulled--that's not something to look forward to but a necessity--and at least, I
know from experience, the dentist is gentle--now if I could only depend on
that/him!  LOL