Next
was Bernie who I, unfairly, called my 'hater'. On our first date I
threw him out of a cab on Fifth Avenue. He was responsible for changing
the direction of my life. He was 5 years older than me, very bossy and
it wasn't until our 'divorce', 7+ years later, in court that I realized
how much he did love me.

And
then there was Johnny, a 'country boy', 11 years younger than me. No
longer bitter, as I was when we broke up,  I realized this country boy
pulled the wool over the eyes of this city slicker and learned an
important lesson.

I
can very simply say that Bill was the love of my life though it is not
as simple as that. I wrote a book called, "For What We Had" that
followed from the first day we met until a couple of years after we
broke up. (Still have 6 copies left and I never get tired reading it! LOL)

In
the 25+ years since then I have, once again, had a couple of mini
affairs but decided that I prefer/like living alone and though I may be
alone I am not lonely. I must admit having a lover to take care of me
would have made the last 9 months easier but, luckily, happily, I have
concerned friends.

I'm still in love
with love--yes, I cry during love scenes in movies and on TV or reading
a book--and I'll find it in songs, stories, on theatre stages and movie
screens but I no longer want/see/expect a lover in my life.