I was reading a blog by a guy the other day who was talking about how confident he was, how
good looking he was, how smart he was--I had to stop and make sure that
I hadn't written the blog! LOL--and then I came across the
two lines that told me he wasn't me. One was he didn't understand why
the women weren't all over him. He lost me there because the men were
always all over me. He, also, said he had a great job and made good
money--as most of you know I am retired and am poor.

As
I commented the other day as far back as I could remember I was told I
had a million dollar smile and I have never stopped smiling even in the
worse of times. I was always ready to jump in front of a camera no
matter what I weighed because even at my fattest I was constantly told
what a good looking man I was.

When
I was 20 I met Andre who was the head captain at the Miami Springs 5
star restaurant and we moved in together for a couple of months and he
taught me a very important lesson that I followed ever after. I learned
how to handle rejection in a positive manner. Anyone, anywhere who
rejected me, not that I was rejected that much!, didn't know what they
were losing, missing out on. I am a good person, a gentleman, a gentle
man, a caring person.  I can be fun, deep, a listener, empathetic,
sympathetic, loyal and there for you. The love of my life told me that
I was the sweetest man he had ever met. I learned to say, and believe,
"It's your loss!"

In
the early 1970s when I was in my mid 30s, and in therapy, I learned
another important lesson and that was to get rid of any negative people
in my life and I did and I have spent the last 38 years of my life
doing that with a few minor slips here and there.

At
74 I don't have the vanity I did at 34 or 44 or even at 64 because
though I still have that million dollar smile I don't have that tight
body and I do have 'liver spots' not to mention what coumindin/warfarin has done to my skin. I still have my confidence because I worked at
overcoming a lot not to mention some really low points and surviving
them. And yes I have attitude because I was taught through my life by
strong gay men that I didn't need someone else's approval or acceptance as long as I accepted and approved of myself. I
have reached the age where I can now sit back and listen to the
nonsense spouted by 30-60 year olds who will, eventually, hope their stupidity, youth and arrogance
won't come back to haunt them. All I can hope for them is that at 74,
and older, they can stand tall, look back and see that they hurt as few
people as they could have, ignored those who were negative towards them
and enjoy the last third of their life as I am even with my conceit,
ego, vanity and attitude!