I'm really not sure where to work this weekend. If you people think it's easy being self-employed.. it really isn't. High times and low times. I have to find work every single week. Not always easy...

It's January.. one of the slowest times of the year. Actually, a few places can be good here (cause not much is going on), but they are a "needle in a haystack" to find.. and with the "economy" (the way it is), most aren't worth the risk.

So I've been checking into shows. I haven't found anything for January, worth the "risk" of show fee's, gas, etc.. (even driving a distance in a Michigan winter)... Roxann and I have just talked.. I think we're gonna do a local "Flea market" in Flint.. (maybe 20 minutes away). The fee is like $50.. not bad, but still a risk this time of year. We could do nothing (even lose money), we could make a few hundred (Not over that I am sure). I will not commit now, I think we will load up the display.. drive there, and check the situation.

In February, the shows will be better. We can do a show most every weekend, and all likely should be decent...

The main problem is... well.. I am alot in debt. To explain it all, would take 50 blogs.. lol. Lets say, I am about 80K in debt now. That counts dozens of times to the hospital, many defaulted credit cards... back child support, IRS problems, as well as other things. You may wonder how can that happen, to someone who always worked.. and is actually good at what he does>?! I gotta tell ya, LIFE can sneak up on ya... anyone really, and I know this more and more everyday. I get better and better dealing with this "fucking" system everyday... I get "better and better" dealing with people everyday....

When my problems first started, I'd say I "stressed" far too much. Today, sure I have some "stress" and I always do what I can. But I am not really "intimidated" much.. What can they do "ANYONE" take away my Birthday?? lol. I feel I need to just live my life "being me", doing what I feel right, and not worry about others opinions. Not worry "if they have some POWER" over me or something. As long as I am content with me... I am OK! most that know me in person, would say this really is me... "I've slept in ditches" at times, and I've stood up to some really big people, (knowing they'd kick my ass).. and took it.. lol. (PS, win or lose, I always get some good hits in.. lol).

I expect to be going to jail soon. That is if they get me, before my sales start kicking in. Hell, I don't know.. I either will or won't. I don't care, I don't want to go but if I do I can handle it. I'll be going for "child support", this county is a "Bitch" on that. Not the kids mom, I raised the kids for years (alone) and got nothing from her or the government. All I really care is, the "record". I want the courts to see I have worked my ass off, I want them to see I raised 2 autistic children as a single parent. I want them to see, yes I fell on some hard times, and I am digging out. But things take time... Jail, so freeking what!? Last year I did 30 days, and I was called "Uncle Gary" from everyone. Nobody was gonna mess with me, they respected me. I was like "the old fart".. the dude who been around. Hell, I knew most there anyway.. lol.

So if I go.. wish me "farewell" for awhile. If I do, and you read on Roxann's blog I went... send me a letter or something. Jail birds appreciate that chit.... (she can give you the jail address)

Think about it... what possible "good" comes, when a man is taken to jail.. when he works, and just has some "problems" meeting what they said he should pay? Does my ex no good, my kids no good.. and no other good...

I just "Fly my own way", but honestly.. I am not a bad guy. If you read my "blogs", think about the things I say....

Gary :)