I'm up early. I wish I didn't write that last post. Not because I didn't mean what I said. It was directed about some things that bother me about my stepmom.

I don't know who all reads my blogs. Sometimes I'll get an IM from my ex girlfriend "Vikki", and mention something. She'll say "I know I read your blog". Sometimes Dawn "Butterfly" on here will comment in an IM about something I wrote. So basically, I don't know who is reading.

I really don't care, except for the fact I don't know if my family reads. I say all I think, but I don't want to create waves. Remember when I got that thing in the mail. After I wrote about "Jesse James". It was simply an article about "The real Jesse James. It was postmarked from "Jacksonville Florida" (where my family lives). Someone from there is reading my blogs. I don't know who.

Mostly, I still like my stepmom. Just I don't trust her. I once wrote her a nasty email. It was about my time in Florida. I said "all I needed was a little help with my car". I was in an area I didn't know anyone. I had no help with it. She wrote back saying "we don't want you to drive". Well, you want me to "work", but don't want me to "drive"? I haven't drank and drove in a decade. I didn't ask for money. Just some help to fix my car.

When I got back to Michigan, my brother Brian was "so" pissed at our family. He even called my dad a "fucker", and said "Gary why do you protect them". He (at that time) wanted me to be all in their case. I never said anything. It wasn't dad I felt, it was "her" and I know it.

I don't live my life asking for "anything" from anyone really. I've lived homeless before, because I wouldn't ask or accept help. I've never went for "food stamps", or any government thing (even when I needed it). Here is the reason.. I want "absolutely NO control" on my life. Anyone or anything that "tries" to control my life, I will TURN on them in a heartbeat. I'll live in this world a "FREE" life, even if it kills me. LOL.. Ironic, even if I am in jail.

I am 100% for free speech! You should all know that by now. Yet, I do hold some things back. Not for me.. just because. Sometimes it's better. Those that know me however, know what I am about. I am for free speech, and free living.

If a gay dude likes "sucking dick", I say "do your thing". I won't judge you. Gross yes, but you aren't hurting anyone. You have every right to do so. If someone wants to "Pray to Mecca" all day, go for it. Take your "Koran" to school, pray at lunch.. do whatever "I don't care". If anyone tries to stop you from living the way you want.. "I will be on their case".

All I ask is the same respect in return. Say what you want about me and my life. I expect, and actually encourage it. Just don't cross that line where you "try to control me". I will NOT be controlled. That's one thing you can count on with me.

My step mom was trying to control me. I know. She does to dad too.. although he wouldn't admit. Dad handles himself very well in life. So Do I really. I am not out drunk driving, robbing stores or anything. I just want to be "and remain" the free spirit I am. It's the only way I function.

All I wanted with the car (while I was in Florida), is for her to ask my brother or dad for a few hours of help to fix it. Not money, I had that. Time. I was working the lawncare business for them (I was paid), but also mowing their yard and such free.

When I left Florida, I left most I owned. I left my car (which I traded for my beautiful Virago motorcycle). I left my pool table, air hockey table.. tons really. When I left Michigan I left a ton too. Freedom to me, is the most valuable thing there is. Go ahead, ask any of my ex's if I can be controlled... lol. Ask anyone in my family.

Roxann and I get along very well actually. She is really the first girlfriend I ever had that "doesn't" try to control me. I won't be cheating on her or anything, but I will remain free. If people would realize how "cool" I can be.. just being me. They would want me "free".. lol.

So about an hour ago, I rode my bicycle to the store. I was thinking about all this chit. Well I was in the right lane, not doing anything wrong. This carload of people drove past, and made this "LONG BEEP" like I was getting in their way. I "double flipped them off", and signaled for them to come back. I so wish they would've. I can turn into a little "tornado" when I want. I was READY to fuck with them all.

LOL.. ok off on a quick tangent. I'm in a writing mode if you didn't notice. I was going to the store in this trailer park last year. Flint Michigan (rough area), lots of young punk type kids. It was late. I past this group of about 15 kids. Someone made a rude comment to me (I presume just trying to be cool). I turned immediate, and confronted the dude. Oh, believe me I jumped right in his chit. I think the comment he made was to call me a "fag" or something. Nothing against gays on my end, but I told him "Come on you punk ass fucker". We'll see "who's" the fag when I make you suck my dick (sorry, again no disrespect meant to the gays here). It was just one of those things, where there was a group of young punks.. and I had a point to make. I mean, think of this. How many people would've just turned around and left. Then they think they get away with that. Just cause they are in a group. I'm not like that either. Especially after a few beers.. lol. It basically ended with ALL apologizing to me.. lol. The moral to this story.. be free.. say what you want... but NEVER in a threatening way. Live free and cool. Let others do so also.

Anyway, that was my thought for this morning. Honestly, I am a very "mellow guy". Just I don't put up with crap. Not for long anyway.. lol.

Gary :)