Sebastian just turned 11 months. He wanted the "heart to heart" talk with dad. I don't know if this was too early... but I'm one of those dads that wants to guide him right......

SEBASTIAN SAYS: Dad?

DAD SAYS: What son?

SEBASTIAN SAYS: I really wanna have a talk dad.. I wanna learn about women.

DAD SAYS: Of course son.. Hell I'll tell you everything I know.

SEBASTIAN SAYS: The women say, you been around alot dad.. you have had more women then anyone. The call you a "male hoe" (whatever that means).. Heck, I haven't have a single babe.. so I'm just trying to understand all this.

DAD SAYS: Yes son, I admit it.. I've had my share of women. Yes, in men terms it's something to be proud of. Something you wanna tell your kids when they get old. I just never expected this conversation this early in your life.

SEBASTIAN SAYS: I heard some women say, sure he (you) can get the girls, but he sure can't keep them. What's up with that dad?

DAD SAYS: Banana Split theory son. You don't keep them by design. See, the first time you go to an icecream shop, get the "Banana Split", it's the most tasty thing you ever had. You'll drool over the thing. You'll lick it, your savor it all.

SEBASTIAN SAYS: I love Banana splits dad!

DAD SAYS: I know you do son. But think of this. What if dad took you to the SAME Banana Split shop every single time. What if you had no choices, no variety. Always the same flavor, always served the same way?

SEBASTIAN SAYS: I don't know dad.. maybe I'd find it a little old. I'd probably want to try something different.

DAD SAYS: What, if the shop owner was cruel.. wouldn't let you have a "Sundae" (when you seen them on the menu). What if you wanted a "Chocolate upsidedowncake" (that you seen possible), and you weren't allowed... SON!! What would you think!!!??

SEBASTIAN SAYS: I guess I'd be upset dad. I'd want to be able to taste all the "flavors", I'd want my freedom... I'd be one happy baby if I had all that..

DAD SAYS: Of course son.. now get this.. what if dad kept taking you to the same sundae shop.. and suddenly the "Bananas" were getting old (rotting). What if the "icecream" was melting before you got your tongue on it?

SEBASTIAN SAYS: I don't know dad, heck I really don't understand a thing your saying... All I know is I wanted to learn about women, and then you got me thinking about "fresh" icecream... Which now, I don't even trust you to take me to a good "icecream shop"..

DAD SAYS: No son, it's not dad, it's women. The serve the "Banana Split" perfect the first time... after that.... it's....

SEBASTIAN SAYS: Dad dad! Ok lets not talk about that now. Listen... I know the women like me. They hug me, pick me up, cuddle and kiss me... they do it all the time! I just want to know how to control them. I want something more. Kissing is fun, but I really want to get the things I want too.

DAD SAYS: Kissing is all your gonna get now son. Especially with those old women you hang with. Controlling them won't happen. Deceiving them takes time and skill. You need to get around girls your age. Much easier to manipulate, and.. well I probably said enough for today. We will continue this talk later...

SEBASTIAN SAYS: Thanks Dad.. I LOVE YOU!!!

DAD SAYS: I LOVE YOU TOO SON!!!!