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16 on my "Deathbed".. this for "janetk"
I been reading your blogs "janetk". I am actually "impressed". You are "funny", "real", "moody", and alot more. But it's obvious you are kinda "depressed". I jokingly said in a blog before "your psycho".. but was basically kidding. I think your a "great gal" really.. But I also think you are having some problems in life.
I don't know your life. I do know mine has been hard at times. Great at times. I won't go into that deeply here. I will say, "experience makes us stronger".
The picture above, did not become my "deathbed". Most thought it would. I lost 50-70 lbs (I don't know exact). I had to relearn to walk. I was messed up, and hospitalized a long time. This was my "first" major thing (and many followed).
I cannot say I ever got over the "erratic" nature I've had. I can say I learned to deal with it...
What I never said before to you.. is why "I feel", I started living the way I do. I drank, I smashed cars, I smashed motorcycles (alot) because I couldn't "cope". When "young", I pretty much did everything with no care. Now, I still do things (not drink and drive), but I can still live wild at times. I prefer not too..
Right now, you are having a hard time "coping" (I think).. You have to "try" to cope better. If you don't, you will go down a dark path. Today, I drink, party.. but I "cope'. I won't be getting in a car with friends, and flipping it.. it. I have matured.. but still like a good time..
I am only here because "God" (for some stupid reason) wants me here. By all accounts, I should be dead....
Take care sweetie,
Gary :)
I think that honesty is really important and I therefore really value someone's honesty when they're speaking to me. I think it's critical to be honest in what we say and how we act.
I know you're not preaching...if I thought you were, I likely wouldn't read or respond. I meant what I said about valuing your opinions and experiences. We are a lot alike.
I relate to what you say about erratic behaviour except that my "erracticness" is usually a bit more out of control...the coping mechanisms that I mentioned. I will be doing fine for a while and then something will trigger it and I'll feel the way that I did for so many years. It's a process, isn't it? One day at a time, trying to be the best you possibly can.
Thanks again.