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Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.
I read a post by Sunlight and found my tree, the Walnut. I was so glad that she wrote her last paragraph explaining how our environment and experiences often times influence the person that we are to become. Although many of these attributes do apply to me, there are some that I hope have been tempered somewhat by my experiences.
I am a passionate person. I love deeply and seek to please those that I love. Therefore, I would not consider myself a difficult partner. If there is difficulty in my home, it is spawned by the fact that I am so obsessed with cleanliness. I want things neat and orderly, items put in their place, and would so enjoy having a laundry hamper free of dirty items for more than a few hours. This behavior was influenced by my mother, who believed that cleanliness is next to Godliness. If I happened to put a dish away damp. She would take every item out of the cabinet for me to wash and dry again. If my bed was not made to her specifications, she would rip everything from the bed for me to redo and redo until I had it exactly right. She influenced me not to expect so much from my family as she did me.
Since I was never good enough in the eyes of my mother but fell short of her expectations, I have suffered from an inferiority complex. Therefore, I would never describe myself as egotistical or aggressive. I am not the leader, but the peacemaker. Whenever there was friction at school, I was always the mediator, the one seeking to alleviate the anger or distress. I wanted a harmonious environment in my classroom and was careful to build the self esteem of the students. I always told them that my classroom was my home and they were my family. I expected them to treat one another with the same respect that I treated them.
The only area in which I was inflexible and uncompromising was my expectations of myself and the skills that I wanted to instill in my students. I strove to be an excellent teacher and prepare by students for all obstacles that they might encounter. I never wanted them to feel inadequate as I had throughout my lifetime. In choosing a curriculum for my students, I chose stories, essays, and poetry that would teach beauty and tolerance. I wanted them to eliminate the prejudices in their lives created by a narrow environment and to be able to judge a person not by his color, economic condition, or religion but by his character and by the way that he treated others.
I know that we cannot please everyone nor will we be liked by everyone that we meet, but I hope that I will be remember kindly by most of those that I have touched in some small way.
Hmm... now I'm curious to see what my tree is...