It may be that some headlines interest some people more than others. But that doesn’t make them any less a waste of space. True newsworthiness involves happenings that appeal across the spectrum, not just to thirteen year old girls. There is always something going on that needs to be in the news: the fall of governments in the Middle East, war, discovery of new planets, the scourge of increasing obesity, that sort of thing. Maybe even the Super Bowl, although I regard that with a tinge of cynicism. Maybe this year the game itself will triumph over the clever commercials created for the event.

But cnn.com, where I generally go for my news updates, is chock full of items that make me wonder about the state of the country’s IQ. Is 100 still supposedly the par? I have this creeping suspicion that it has decreased to 85. Here’re five headlines that make me wonder:

1. MILEY CYRUS GETS TATOO NO. 5 I’m sure this will make lots of poor parents’ daughters want to run out to the tattoo parlor, perish forbid.
2. IT’S A BOY FOR CRAIG FURGUSON Sorry, but I don’t even know who this guy is. If that’s a negative reflection on me, then so be it. And who cares what gender kids celebs have anyway?
3. IS WALMART FINALLY COMING TO NYC? Could this be because they got chased out of Kalamazoo?
4. BUY ASHTON KUTCHER’S BACHELOR PAD This has to qualify as a certified low-grade, high priced real estate oversell.
5. KIDMAN FINALLY SPILLS ON TOM CRUISE Scientology buffs, be alert!

I know everyone may be entitled to their supposed fifteen minutes of fame, but some get more than they ought to (good luck Lindsey Lohan).

Once there was a great magazine called Quest which had wonderful stories on people who were worth reading about. The magazine spawned The Giraffe Society, of which I proudly became a charter member. The Society’s mission was to find and honor all Americans who stuck their necks out for the common good. Sadly, the magazine, and the Society, became defunct after just a couple of years, victims of the growing cult of celebrity.