Last night I was watching a news piece about ethical violations in the Supreme Court, and wondering what our friend Looserobes thought about it. Sure enough, he's sent me an unsolicited guest blog:


LOOSEROBES on:
WHY CLARENCE THOMAS DOESN’T ASK QUESTIONS

It is well-known that Associate U. S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas hasn’t asked a question during oral arguments in five years. Here are some of the possible reasons he keeps his mouth shut:

1. He’s too dull to think up any good questions. So what if he went to Yale. So did George W. Bush.
2. He has no need to ask questions because he’s going to vote with Antonin Scalia 90% of the time anyway.
3. Because he’s the only black justice on the court, he thinks that if he doesn’t say anything the others might eventually think he’s just a white guy with a tan.
4. He keeps a box of Necco wafers in his lap drawer on the bench and always has one or two of them in his mouth.
5. Although he appears to be studying counsel’s briefs, he has photos of Anita Hill and other women secreted inside them and is too distracted by them to pay attention to the arguments.
6. He’s still going over his financial disclosure forms trying to figure out how “spousal noninvestment income” means how much his wife earned as consultant to the Heritage Foundation instead of the “none” which he reported, as recently disclosed by Common Cause. Thomas explained that the omission was inadvertent “due to a misunderstanding of the filing instructions” and amended his reports all the way back to 1989.
7. He’s busy writing anonymous letters criticizing the NAACP and the Urban League, both of whom opposed his nomination to the Court in 1991.
8. His grandfather once told him to be seen and not heard and he never forgot that advice.
9. He has a wireless earpiece in each ear and is listening to Motown.
10. He has trained himself to sleep with his eyes open.