After 32 years of marriage to Mr. Troutbend, I have come up with this list of issues upon which we disagree. We've never discussed it, and probably never will.

He thinks that we should keep track of the silverware in the dishwasher and make sure that 50% of it is handles down, and 50% handles up. He counts it to make sure it's consistent. I don't agree: as long as the spoons aren't nested together, it's okay.

I think we should wear hearing protection when using the riding lawn mower. He doesn't think it's necessary, and I have stopped mentioning it to him. I have a pair of nifty earplugs in chartreuse that are very sporty.

He thinks that underwear should be rotated so it gets even use. This means putting the clean underwear on the bottom of the pile and observing a strict rotation, whatever comes up to the top is next even if it looks like a little Speedo swimming suit. I just toss mine in the drawer and pull out what I feel like wearing that day.

He doesn't agree with how I mow the lawn or the way I apply Weed and Feed to it. He also disagrees with how I paint because according to him I don't hold the brush properly.

I know I'm not very good at these things, so I do them when he's not around.

He likes AC-DC and other strange bands, I like classical music and big bands. Neither one of us likes jazz.

He doesn't like the way I drive. I do fine when I'm on my own, and I've had fewer wrecks and tickets than he has. I think my snow driving skills are better than his, but he won't admit it.

I think we should add water to the cat's wet food because the veterinarian told me to do that so kitty would get more liquids, but Mr. Troutbend thinks it's unnecessary.

So I do it whenever I can and he doesn't do it whenever he can.

But in the big picture of our lives together, these are all small disputes, so we don't discuss them, just go about our business.