The phone rang this morning, and Caller ID said "Illinois." It was our long-time cabin rental guest Les who sells cars, and at first I thought he was calling to tell me he'd found a truck I might like.

But no. First he said 'our oldest son died yesterday.' I was thinking car accident? hunting accident? Les wanted me to know in case I saw anything about it on Facebook. But then he said 'he killed himself and my wife found him downstairs.' It just got worse and worse with each sentence: 'We think it was because his girlfriend broke up with him.'

We can think of all the things someone could have said to that 18 year-old kid from a loving well-off middle-class home to give him some perspective on living and loving - how those things are never the end of the world, but no use now.