If you are a guy, the eternal question is: "Will this get me laid?"

I am going to put forth my perspective on this question and give some advice to the lovelorn.

I am not a guy that is considered to be attractive. I do not display the trappings of money, except for my watch. I do not drive a fancy car or wear the latest fashions. However, I can get laid almost at will, with almost whomever I decide to set my sights upon. I will tell you why.

People are vain. They want to talk about themselves. They want you to be interested in them. For the most part, they do not care what you have or what you do.

I am a salesman by nature. Granted, I am in a somewhat technical profession but what I do is sell. Everything. All the time. I know how to get you to buy. I was not taught this. I know it. Instinctively.

I watch these guys hitting on someone they want to date, sleep with, whatever. They all make the same mistake. I listen to them and all they do is me, me, me. They try to impress said conquest with what they have, who they know, etc. I see the look on the prospects face and they are always the same. Boredom. Disbelief. I wish you would shut up.

I do not tell people about myself when I meet them. I give my name, of course. But then, I begin asking questions about them. I look for cues in what they tell me and I dig deeper into the things I can tell they like and are interested in. All people want to be found interesting. They want someone to listen. I also find out what they are looking for, what makes them tick. Then, I meet that need.

I hear most people talking in bars or clubs and it sounds like two kids doing the "My dad can beat up your dad." bit. People don't listen to what the other person is saying. Most people can't wait for the person they are with to stop talking so they can tell THEIR story, which they think is bigger, better, or more impressive than that of their companion. Me, I don't reveal anything unless asked. And then I turn the conversation right back around to the other person. When many people first meet me, they think I am quiet because I listen. People are so used to hearing others blab on endlessly they don't really know how to deal with someone who truly listens.

However, there are times when I should find out more info. Case in point. Just recently I was out and I met this very nice young man. Mid 20's. Attractive. Well dressed. Well spoken. Slightly effeminate. Just my type. I got the conversation going. He begin telling me about himself. I did all my listening and questioning. We left together, went for breakfast. Talked more. After breakfast he asked if I would like to come to his place. Sure.

After the deed was done, we were laying there talking. He asked some questions about me. "Where did you go to high school?" "Kingwood here and graduated in Louisiana." "Really, my mom went to Kingwood" "Oh, I would've been in the first class that graduated from there" "No! She was too. Her name is L****"

I passed it off of course. I knew his mom. In the biblical sense if you get my meaning. She was on the Drill Team. She was also a preachers kid and a wild child.

That sort of ruined the rest of the evening for me. I mean how often do you get to do the mom in high school and then 27 years later get to do her kid? It is a small world.

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." - Dale Carnegie