Last night I intended to eat three or four chocolate chip cookies and drink a big pint sized mug of milk before bedtime--SO, I poured the milk and as I was putting the gallon milk jug back in the frige, turned, and my elbow hit that big mug, knocked it off the counter, and the mug broke and milk splattered everywhere.

I mean everywhere. The rug in front of the frige absorbed a lot of the milk, but pieces of broken stoneware mug and blops of milk splattered onto the dining room floor on the right, and onto the kitchen floor to the left. It was a mess.
I grabbed a roll of paper towels and ripped towels off and threw them onto the milk blops to keep them from running. My leopard print flip flops were squishy with milk but I kept them on to keep from stepping on broken crockery. What as ass you are, I grumbled to myself.

Paper towels down everywhere, I rolled the rug up and stuck it in a plastic garbage bag, and got soapy bleachy water and a mop and started at one end of the mess, working to the other end, mopping and cleaning. NOW, when I had went in for the milk and cookies, there had been a silly program on the History Channel about finding Bigfoot, so I had left the TV on that, thinking it'd be only a few minutes before I went back into the living room to turn it off.

But no, there I was stuck behind a line of soppy milky paper towels as I worked my way through the cleanup, and what had come on History Channel? Some inane program about Swamp People, who spent the entire half hour speaking in Cajun about "gone ketch me a gatuh." These people had licenses to hunt and kill gators, and they were in a hurry t0 get their quota. I was stuck listening to this.

30 minutes passed, followed by ANOTHER episode of Swamp People. More mumbled barely incomprehensible speech, about gatuhs, and the sound of Evinrude engines in the swamp. AARGH! I was having to wipe down the cabinet wall and other surfaces splattered with milk, and listen to this. Finally after two and a half episodes of Swamp People I cleaned my way through so I could get to the remote and change the channel. Whose idea was it for this reality program? Next time how about nails on a blackboard??

susil