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I woke up listening to the radio--it isn't Christmas until I hear Elvis sing Blue Christmas as least once. Then I heard Ave Maria sung in Latin, then an oldie that goes like this: Santa looked a lot like Daddy--Daddy looked a lot like him--He didn't come down the chimney--So Mama must have let him in--And if it really was Santa--I'm gonna tell on them.
At 11am, Ellie phoned for me to come eat. She had cooked a big spread as always. Her mother, Aunt Marcheline, was sitting on the side of her hospital bed with a tray. The sight of her wrenched me; it was like looking at the ghosts of my mother and aunts, all deceased; all who had looked so much alike as they grew older. Pale and frail, she tried but either couldn't or wouldn't eat. Ellie was concerned about dehydration and feared her mother was having another TIA. She phoned her mother's nurse who said call an ambulance.
I had brought my nail cutting equipment to cut her toenails. (Listen up all you able bodied folks--the elderly and disabled may never lose the ability to cut their own fingernails, but toenails are a problem. If you know someone like this, ask if they need help.) Ellie used to take her mother to the podiatrist until she became so frail. Sans podiatrist and pedicurist, I had been promising to do it. Ellie went to call the ambulance. I told Aunt Marcheline I was gonna try to get her nails trimmed before they came.
I talked to keep her company. I asked if she knew where she was. Her voice was faint, soft. "no" she said very softly. I asked if she knew who I was. Pause. "sue" she said from a faraway place. My heart turned over. I know as a nurse when the life spirit is so far down at the bottom of the barrel, there is little hope of it being strong again. The soul has gently loosened from its mooring...and once embarked away from light and life...No hand raised in parting--drifts quietly toward the dark.
As I held her dainty feet in my hands, so different from mine, I thought about something in the Bible, about those who would wash the feet of others as a sign of respect and love. I hope she knew that was what I did for her.
susil
