One of the things I love about Facebook is that it has given me the opportunity to reconnect with a lot of my former students and many of my college friends. One of my students, who was always a quiet, steady type when I had her in class, has become the zaniest, funniest adult. She keeps me laughing all the time with her clever posts. Yesterday, she had a couple of real gems. I hope she will forgive me for sharing them, since I will keep her identity secret. Here's the first: (You'd better go pee before you read this, or you may just wet your pants laughing.)
"Now I'm serious about what you are about to read. I had ordered some undereye wrinkle/puffiness cream, lipstick that would make my lips plumper, and face cream that would help with, yes, again, wrinkles, even out my complexion, AND make my face 'sparkle', that was on the tube.
Dr. Oz had these products on his show. I had ordered it before my class reunion in November but didn't receive it in ti...me. So tonight, Suzanne and I experimented with the products. The following happens while Suzanne is cooking dinner: I have her look at my lips, put on lipstick, wait a few minutes, and then have her look again. It worked. Wonderful!
She puts some on, waits, and looks in mirror. Says, oh my gosh, I look like Angelina Jolie. She looks at my eyes, use cream on one eye only, wait. She picks the correct eye.
Wonderful! I am talking to her, and then the problem begins. Suzanne says, 'Mom, what's wrong?' I say, 'Well, the lipstick is sticking to my teeth.' Then it starts to glue my upper and lower teeth to the inside of my lips.
I try to tell her what is happening and can't talk good at all. She is cracking up. I remove the lipstick, use toilet paper (no Puffs) to get it off. The toilet paper starts to stick to my teeth. I didn't tell Suzanne this, we never would had dinner with her rolling around the floor laughing."
Another of her "jewels":
"I can't contain it any longer. You all know the outdoor red bows that are flat. You are to fluff them up; not hang them flat.
So this weekend I'm going to do it. Late at night I'm going to go thru my neighborhoods and fluff those up. I wonder if the people will notice their improved bows."
I wish I could be there with my camera to record her going door-to-door fluffing her neighbors' bows. The girl is so witty. She makes my day.
posted on Dec 16, 2011 8:46 AM ()
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Hmm... will have to check if we are friends on facebook. I spend way less time there than here.
I have not ever been contacted on face book. I think everyone I ever knew may be dead.
No wonder retired people say that time flies. They're spending all their time on Facebook. But your friend IS funny!
Facebook is such fun....
I have never 'found' anyone on facebook from high school, my years in Memphis or anywhere else!
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