If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

All thinking men are atheists.

Lighthouses are more helpful then churches.

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.