Madame (or Mister) President-Elect:
Now that the turmoil of the election is over and all the Florida and Ohio votes have finally been counted, verified and passed on by the Supreme Court, we have gathered this petition for your attention. Please read, consider and act on it.
1. WHEREAS, we, the people of the United States of America, live, work and vote here, we beseech you to consider the following petition.
2. We depend on a strong and vital economy, based on a dollar that maintains its value in the marketplace. The value of the dollar has been cut considerably by the following:
A. Federal deficit spending that during the last 7 years totals more than ALL the previous deficit spending combined.
B. Throwing good dollars after bad in a war that was unnecessary in the first place and at most unnecessary now because of the reluctance of Iraq to stand up and govern itself.
C. Allowing OPEC to maintain a cartel, fixing the price of crude oil, an act that is illegal in the United States, which has laws on the book that ban the US from engaging in commerce with nations that belong to cartels.
3. OPEC, the oil cartel, is systematically destroying the American economy by not supplying the amount of crude oil the world requires to maintain strong and growing economies. This is evident in the statements made by the OPEC ministers after the last few meetings they have had. The price of oil on the international market continues to increase, which funds the OPEC nations - particularly in the Gulf region - and their fancy to erect skyscrapers in the desert and fake islands in the Persian Gulf. In the meantime, our prices skyrocket. The value of the dollar in the supermarket is less than two-thirds of what it was in 2000. Our money supply has dried and with our manufacturing jobs being exported at a fast clip, people are losing their American dream. Foreclosures are rampant and bankruptcies abound.
All of this is due to misfeasance and malfeasance on the part of our Federal executives, who will not respond to a bunch of terrorist nations whose intent is to cripple the vitality of the United States of American by refusing to play by the rules of commerce.
4. THEREFORE, we implore you to find the backbone to once again stand up in the international community and act on behalf of your constituents.
5. We demand that you begin to withdraw all military presences in the following countries, OPEC members, and co-conspirators in the energy crisis, and that you announce that the United States of America will no longer rush to their aid when they appear threatened by their petty neighbors or from within. You can use the excuse that because of the lower value of the dollar and because of the high price of fuel, the USA can no longer afford to prop up their regimes:
Saudi Arabia
Kuwait
Iraq
Qatar
The Emirates
Oman
Bahrain
Libya
6. FURTHER, we demand that you announce a policy of providing arms and assistance to the rebel forces currently attempting to overthrow the following OPEC nations, using some of our paltry devalued dollars that will be saved by eliminating the aid and protection previously given to the above regimes:
Sudan
Venezuela
Nigeria
In closing, we wish you the best of luck in dealing with these regimes, many of whom we once considered "allies."
Sincerely, and with warmest regards,
THE PEOPLE WHO ELECTED YOU