Jon Adams

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Jon Adams
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A Minority Of One

Entertainment > Flying Braindead ...
 

Flying Braindead ...

A Washington, DC, airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble! No explanations Necessary.


1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
_____

2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information. Then she interrupted me with, 'I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.'

Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, 'Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in Africa.'

Her response - click.
_____

3 A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.

I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!' (OMG)
_____

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, 'Is it possible to see England from Canada ?

' I said, 'No.'

She said, 'But they look so close on the map.' (OMG, again!)
_____

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car he said, 'I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.' (Aghhhh)
_____

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.

Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

_____

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, 'Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'

I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

She replied, 'Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said 'FAT', and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!'

After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is 'FAT' (Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
_____

8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, 'Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii ?'
_____

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, 'How do I know which plane to get on?'

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, 'I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.'
_____

10. A lady Senator called and said, 'I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?' I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane.

She said, 'Yeah, whatever, smarty!'

_____

11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa.

'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those..'

I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa.

When I told him this he said, 'Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!'

_____

12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, 'I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .'

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, 'Are you sure that's the name of the town?'

'Yes, what flights do you have?' replied the lady.

After some searching, I came back with, 'I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere.'

The lady retorted, 'Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!'

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, 'You don't mean Buffalo, do you?'

The reply? 'Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'

posted on Aug 5, 2008 6:55 AM ()

Comments:

Good stuff!
comment by shesaidwhat on Aug 7, 2008 9:35 AM ()
Too funny!!!Laurie
comment by dogsalot on Aug 5, 2008 9:02 PM ()
yes,they were hilarious
comment by fredo on Aug 5, 2008 11:06 AM ()
I sat at the window seat (both times I flew). I didn't care about my hair! Someone told me that the Fresno Airport was now called FYI (has something to do with Yosemite being more fun than Fresno... or maybe they didn't want to put FAT on their luggage tickets any more.)
comment by sunlight on Aug 5, 2008 10:56 AM ()
OMG! These were so FREAKIN hysterical.
AJ
comment by lunarhunk on Aug 5, 2008 10:48 AM ()
Funny but sad and a little scary.
comment by nittineedles on Aug 5, 2008 10:48 AM ()
Ooops! I thought your title applied to Presidential flights.
comment by bumpedoff on Aug 5, 2008 9:54 AM ()
Maybe all prospective candidates should take an intelligence test before they are allowed to run for office. Come to think of it, this requirement should also be in place for prospective parents.
comment by tealstar on Aug 5, 2008 9:52 AM ()
Excellent! I needed a chuckle
comment by teacherwoman on Aug 5, 2008 7:44 AM ()
If I was a TSA agent, I would make every one of these passengers stand aside and remove their shoes. Then I would look in those shoes for their brains.
comment by jondude on Aug 5, 2008 7:19 AM ()
OMG!!! This is priceless...
comment by elfie33 on Aug 5, 2008 7:14 AM ()
OoooooooooooooooooMG — Hilarious!!
comment by marta on Aug 5, 2008 7:13 AM ()

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