Jon Adams

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A Minority Of One

Sports & Recreation > Why Athletes Can't Have Regular Jobs ...
 

Why Athletes Can't Have Regular Jobs ...

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings.."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.."
(Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height.."
And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton .."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."

15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips responded: "Because she's too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."

posted on Jan 6, 2011 7:10 PM ()

Comments:

DuH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
comment by fredo on Jan 7, 2011 9:22 AM ()
I always wondered why reporters keep interviewing pro athletes, who can barely speak. It's to get great moments like these.
comment by drmaus on Jan 7, 2011 8:18 AM ()
I only wish I could be that intelligent.
comment by solitaire on Jan 7, 2011 6:54 AM ()
Now all those Yogi Berra-isms make more sense.
comment by troutbend on Jan 6, 2011 10:24 PM ()
OMG these are Great!!!
comment by kristilyn3 on Jan 6, 2011 8:32 PM ()
Nobody could make this stuff up; but the very best one is Bum Phillips comment. Wonder if he ever looked in a mirror? They didn't call him "Bum" for no good reason.
comment by timetraveler on Jan 6, 2011 8:27 PM ()
Unreal.
comment by marta on Jan 6, 2011 7:51 PM ()

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