So my day begins like any other day.

Like any other day that begins for Sarah. Earwigs.

*BARF*

Do they EVEN SERVE A PURPOSE ..? A Function?
NO.

They are nasty little bugs that are there just to Mess around with people.

So I went to have a shower in the Am like any normal person does. I grabbed my towels, and one fell on my bare foot. Let me repeat that MY BARE FOOT. I did not panic. I shook my foot and he fell off.
And there he sat on my pretty shower rug. I sighed. I knew I had to kill him otherwise he be left to roam my apartment.

Killing these things is not an easy task. It is not one smush and your done. Oh no. There is multiple smushings. As if that was not enough, they make crunch noises as you kill them. *Shudder* *insert vomit here*

My word to the earwigs ... lay off the calcium.

After that bloody battle between woman and bug there was another.
They apparently sent their army after me. And there was earwig sitting (and plotting I am sure) for me in the shower. I cringed and stood there wondering what I should do.
Should I be a good human being and kill him quickly ? Or should I be a horrible human being and turn on the shower?

I choose the latter. But in my defense the shower head does not spray out. The shower head sprays down so it does not go to the back of the shower (which was where the stupid little earwig was).

The earwig seemed to sense that there was water for he fled. Never have I seen a earwig move that fast. He disappeared into where my pile of towels are. Lovely.

I did not go and look for him. No way, am I poking around to have a earwig spring out at me Ninja style.
EFF that shit.

I had my shower while I watched my towels intently like Oprah watching her cookies. Was I being overcautious? No.

I finished my shower and as I stepped out an earwig was on my rug!! He was waiting for me to step so he could attack my feet. This time I cringed and let out a few choice words. I avoided him like a bad prom date. I scurried away to my bedroom. This woman had enough battles with bugs.

I was finally ready for class, clean, dressed and awake. I got to my class early and choose my seat and whipped out my scribbler and pen. Being the mature student I am, I began to draw bunnies and swirls and scribbles all over the side of my page.

And then this guy comes in. He comes in strutting. I ignore him and add some hair to my bunny. He apparently must be used to women looking at him (not too sure why, he was pretty goofy looking to me) for he seem displeased that I ignored his entrance.

I take out my cute little pink phone and turn it to silent and return to my mural of bunnies. The guy seems agitated. He whips out his I Phone. This guy wants a Cell phone war. The lets compare phones and watch each other pretending to do cool things on our phones. I blatantly insult him by not taking up such a challenge of phones. He continues to taunt me, and try to anger me into a war by looking at his phone, and stroking it. He does this several times. At this point the Professor was already in the class and started talking. I stop the bunny siege on my paper and begin to write what the proff was saying. The guy again sees that I am not interested at all, begins to spin his I phone around on the desk. He does this several times. Many Times......
Too many times.

Listen Dude , its great you got a I phone.Awesome, Congratulations, Yay, Wow and Wicked. I am sure an I phone makes you a better human being! But Guess What I do not care you got a I phone. So for the love of god stop playing with it in class. It does not impress me at ALL!!! And stop strutting around like a peacock. Unless of course the I phone adds something else to your pants pocket that prevents you walking like a normal male.

Besides my pink phone is cuter. And in the battle of Phones (and perhaps life) Cuteness always wins .......

But to show compassion to my fellow loser I mean dude , I suggest a new name for the I phone In honor of him


Idiot Phone