As you can tell my fellow sufferers of exams, I am not in any way in a jolly jiggle belly mood.
(and if you are not a sufferer of exams, I dislike you, very, very much) Which means this note will be lengthy

So I usually when this time rolls around, I pass onto you my wisdom. This year its different kids. Your on your own ....

HAHAH I Joke.

Frigg I am not that mean.

I cant help you study, No time for that now. Its time for the serious shit.
Here are some ways to help you with your exams.

1. Elevate yourself high enough , I suggest standing on a bed or even better a table, to propel yourself (and I really mean propel yourself, moon boots be a good addition right now) High up in the air. Now for the hard part, you must within mere light seconds arrange your body so that you land on your writing wrist. This U2 Crunch (I like to call it that because U2 has a song about elevation and your basically crunching your wrist, I am such a genius sometimes that I surprise myself) ANYWAY the U2 Crunch will break your wrist in one swift movement. Which therefore = NO EXAMS .... (unless you are forced to do oral ..... hahah ORAL exams get your head out of the gutter).

2. This move is for the more daring and desperate the Chicken Cross.
For this you need to locate a road, preferably one that is not on a main road but still sustains traffic flow. Once you locate this road, try to analyze the busiest times. Create a schedule. Once you find the busiest time on that road, go play in it. Better yet be on a crosswalk but jump out. Either way ensure that you somehow end up getting run over. This shouldn't be hard, most people are quiet oblivious to us walkers.

3. Food Be gone. This is as simple as it sounds. Declare a food strike. Although a side note here, this move may not be as effective as the others.


that's it my friends, that's all the dangerous and successful moves I have for you to avoid exams.


Now onto my complaining ... I mean observations today.

I had my awful god awful social policy. And you are probably thinking Sarah it cant be that bad. AHAHAHHAHA ... UMMMMMM YEAH RIGHT. I SWEAR I am going to start smoking DOPE by the garbage full ! Okay the professor for this course is burnt, more burnt than Richard Simmons.

Let me lay down the proof. YEEEAH thats right I have proof, and here you thought I was just ranting and bitching ... Shame on YOU !!!

He told us to study the nine questions and answers, here are a few examples of questions ( I wont bore you with answers ..... and that would take ten pages )

Are contemporary welfare state institutions the creatures of party politics or the inevitable fallout from the explosive logic of capitalism?

Since the 1980s, what has been the major difference between the left and the right on the use of state bureaucracy and tax revenue to provide social services for Canadians?

Is it realistic to expect significant social change to be occasioned by social work practice, or is social work necessarily remedial?


Okay see what I am dealing with here, not only does this deserve a WTF, it needs a FTW and FTS (fuck that shit) You spend five hours trying understand what the hell his question is asking and after that your brain pretty much farts and dies.

So Today was the day of the exam. I knew going in that it was going be awful, and I had a funny feeling that it was going to rape me. I got there in time, and everyone was standing about. I thought what the hell is going on here. The proff comes bumbling down the stairs.... "The door is locked"
Random Kid " Lets just not do the exam" Proff *Grins* and mumbles something and says "No We will have to do the exam I will just get the security to unlock the door"
Dumbass girl " BUT LIKE DUDE I BEEN SICK" *insert laughter and me thinking about cracking my water bottle off her big dumb head* I just want this exam over and done with okay? I do not want to stand about and listen to snot buckets complain and whine. SUCK IT UP PRINCESS.

Anyway the proff comes back and says "what room are we?..... " Unnnnn HELLLOOOO we been there since SEPTEMBER And you do not even know the room number, friggin get me the dope now.

Girl" We are in 21" Him "Oh good thats what I told the security " *chuckles to himself*

Stupid ass guy " LETS DO THE EXAM ON THE STAIRS HAHAH HUK HUK HAHAH"

Proff looks at me ..... WHAT THE HELL ARe you looking at me for????? LETSSS GET TO THE FREAKING EXAM ??? In a real classroom okay?

So the first thing I do when I get to write the exam, I check my surroundings and situation. Any good warrior knows that. I look at how everyone is doing. This is key to know if you will be in the average range or not. I saw some kid bring out a whole bag of beads and charms and rocks.... I was thinking hmmmm okay. Then I saw some girl with a voodoo doll.... I was thinking this might not be so good. Then I saw some big buff guy praying very hard, and mybloggers hair bastard guy set his exam on fire and laugh manically and jumped out the window meanwhile screaming something in french and then I thought Oh Shit this isnt going to be good.

If you slammed me up against the wall and slap peanut butter on my face I couldn't be more surprised. That exam came out of nowhere. It wanted to know three social policies.... not normal ones oh no state ones. RIiiiiight. He told us to study the nine questions ... and then incrementalism, capitalism and that and bit of the history. Did I have any idea... Of course not, So I blabbed on forever about Some Geezer pension or other and how the old baby boomers are screwing us kids over, and then I talked about Child tax and shit like that. Did I have any knowledge of these ? Nope and Nope.

But Was I going to let the exam get the better of me ? Noooo sir
Was I going to let the exam rape me ... anally ? NOOOOOO EFFING WAY
So with clenched arse cheeks and pen gripped in hand, I was going to write like there is no tomorrow my friend!

Oddly enough the question I had no clue about I spent the most time on. Lovely. That left me Oooooh about 40 minutes for the big ass questions one on post secondary education funding and the other on capitalism. My hand was going like Jet lee in a fist fight. Hunched over my exam, madly writing about ... STUFF I HAVE NO IDEA ON.
I had to blab on about what are the social policy features of post secondary education that would prolong enough to study about .... or something like that...... UNNNN huuuuh .....*insert major head scratching here*
So moral of the story make sure you do not get some wacko Jacko of a proff and if you do stock up some drugs or something my friend.


Examples of his retardness...

But I found out my marks, yesterday and found much to my surprise ... that I PASSED. WOW. I got an 68.... snazzy.