You'd think I'd have learnt by now that the female members of my family enmasse is NOT a recipe for positive vibes or a bitch free zone!

We went up to my folks yesterday, mainly on the scrounge. I am looking to grow strawberries this year but figure the further away from little hands the better! I thought that I could borrow an old hay rack from my dad to hang over the wall, line it, fill it with compost and watch mt strawbs grow. He did havd something that would work, but only after it had been lined with loads of chicken wire to prevent things falling through it! Bit dangerous, given that the afore mentioned little hands will try and get to them anyway!!

We have also seen smaller wall hangers that we will use instead. They are a little expensive but two will do this year, since we are strawberry growing virgins. We always add to them next year.

Back to the parentals. As always things are always fine until my sisters arrive. Between them and my mother they really are a cackle of witches. They get stuck in about slanging people off - the hair do's, the clothes, the men blah blah blah. They are NOT the fashion Police but to hear them you would think that they were Tranny and Carthorse (aka Trinny and Susannah - What not to wear fame).

As always it is only a matter of time before the conversation turns round to me and my family. The fact I don't wear make-up or colour my grey hair really seems to irks them! Am a bovvered?! My boys wearing shorts all the time bothers them. My sons having longer hair bothers them. My sons behaviour bothers them - my kids actually do as they are told unlike my sister's kids who could easily be spawns of Satan!! I won't go on but I am sure you get the jist.

My mother is as bad - has the same problems with my kids hair, clothes etc. She interferes when we discipline them - naughty step. Just because it is not the way she would do it makes it wrong, apparently!

All that aside she did cook a lovely roast lamb dinner. One of my dad's own flock - not many chains of field to fork is so short!

I actually met my mum today, unintentionally, when I was up the town today. She has this notion that we are going to do loads over the holidays with her on her days off. I had to tell her that we probably wouldn't! Many of my friends are teachers so it is a good time for us to get together.

|This saga will continue, and I will still make the effort to visit them and bite my tongue when the cackle get their wands out - what else is there?