I have mentioned my mum and sisters on here before and about the fact I think they are very clique together and often switch off when I start to speak - even when they have asked me a direct question.

It kinda started to come to a head yesterday. After the trauma of my son splitting his head open the other day and my mum over stepping the mark because she hadn't been listening properly to what I had been saying to her on the phone she felt that DH was funny with her. He was pissed to because she was going above and beyond and had got the wrong end of the stick so things could have gotten messy.

She asked me yesterday what DH thought of her as she had a feeling that the MIL jokes he cracks were not just jokes. They used to be but he is more p'd at the fact she doesn't listen to me. I explained that it wasn't just her and that it wasn't just him it was a build up of things and mainly it was me.

I told her that sometimes I dread going to visit if I know both my sisters will be there as they are a bit of a clique. This is especially the case when my youngest sister is there - she thinks I need to sort it out with her. But it isn't really her either. As sometimes I feel crap and then the next time everything is great and the crap feelings from before are all forgotten, until the next crap time!

She mentioned the picnic the family have planned in the summer with only 2 dates possible and even one of them is a bit ropey - so there is really only one date and we are unlikely to manage it! I also told her that I didn't know how I was going to cope going to Eurodisney with them all in a few years time especially when I can't cope with 4 hours in their company I said 4 days was pushing it!

She asked if when I was up at her house was I unhappy - truthfully yes but not all of the time. I didn't have the heart to say that DH had to drag me up there sometimes.

I wasn't nasty but what I said had to be said - when I told DH about it and the fact that she wanted to clear the air with him he said he couldn't be bothered with her. I felt quite guilty because I had started to let the sh!t hit the fan and he now didn't want to know. I hate the thought of a rift but until we had kids we seemed to get on great and we both really enjoyed our times with my family, even when my sisters were there.

Now they all want a piece of the kids and are forever asking to have them stay over, when we say "No" there are snidey little comments made which just gets my hackles up even more!

I don't how this is going to pan out but it is only a matter of time before my sisters are on to me and the fall out from this to continue.

I know what was said had been needing to be said for a while so why do I feel so crap? I feel like I have been kicked - Mum and I are speaking it is not like it was a screaming match where one stormed out. I spoke she listened, she spoke, I listened. Then we were silent for a bit - processing what was said I suppose then we spoke again. I may be feeling like this because I have done things and gone along with things for a long time - simply for a quiet life - I hate confrontation and falling out with people.

I suppose now things have started to be said I just have to build from here and move on, whatever happens.