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My Story ... ... . Part Sept
My Story ... ... . Part Sept
Wow, this has been awhile...now where were we? Oh yeah. I struggle through my teen years, meet, and loose my virginity to, the first of a series of complete assholes and graduate from hight school (barely). This event was unique in that none of my family deined to attend the ceremony. A few days after graduation, Fred and Loretta inform me that since I have turned 18(the day before) and have graduated from high school, their obligation to me is complete.  My days of sponging off them are over and I must find other accomodations. They were a little more sublte than this but I got the message loud and clear.  So I loaded up all my stuff (even then I was a bit of a pack rat) and officially moved in with one of my cousins . I'd been spending more time there than at home anyhow because, well, I liked the atmosphere better. I had a job at one of the local drive-thrus and began saving all my money. The idea of going out to California and hunting down my father was becoming a bit of an obsession. So, in February of 1973 I finally have squirreled away sufficient funds to make the trip. My cousins, as it happened, knew some people in Los Angeles and they were gracious enough to give me a place to crash once I arrived. My first flight on an airplane was incredible. I remember the first time I felt that tingle in my stomach as we slipped the sorely bonds of earth. I was in the City of the Angels almost a week before I got up the courage to walk into police headquarters. I asked at the desk where I might find Detective Nathaniel Wannabee and they directed me to the fourth floor. I got on the elevator, my knees watery, heart pounding. I'd often speculated as to what my father would be like. Since I'd learned that he was black and a cop, I was stuck on the lofty notion that he had to be some sort of a cross between Dr. King and Jack Webb. This was in my mind as the elevator doors slid open and there, in the middle of a room full of desks and police officers sat Nathaniel J. Wannabee. He was talking on the phone and was wearing a beige suit. I remember thinking that I couldn't tell where the suit ended and he began. He was very light skinned, had a migrating hairline, thin faced and had a tiny cleft in his chin similar to my own. All of his kids had that, I later learned. I walked over, scared to death and thinking "wow...this is my father". I told him who I was and sat down and told him my story. I showed him a picture of my mother and remember kicking myself mentally for not having saved the letter. Well, to put it mildly, he was skeptical of my voracity. He claimed he could recall no such incident ever taking place, had never met my mother and wondered what my real deal was. This was not going as I had planned. I had wanted him to take one look at me, shout "my baby...I'm so glad I found you" take me in his arms and weep. But this was not gonna happen so I left him a number where I could be reached, thanked him for his time and left. I was crushed, embarrassed and humiliated. Had the drunken old bitch been wrong or just lying? Or was I being rejected by yet another parent? I waited around for a couple of weeks, then when I was just about to pack it in and return east, I got a phone call. It was Nathaniel. He wanted to do a blood test. Now, back then there was none of this dna business that could tell with near certainty who the father of a child was. The best that could be hoped for back then was to eliminate who was not the father. But Nathaniel had a factor in his blood that has to do with the Sickle Cell trait. All his kids had this factor(but only Jake had the actual disease)...and so did I. So when the blood test results came back, there was little doubt that I was the daughter of Nathaniel J. Wannabee. Again I was expecting him to reach out and weep "my baby" but that didn't happen either. He said "so what do you want from me?" I was beyond anger and hurt.  "Nothing" I said and left him standing there with his face hanging out. Again I was nearly out the door, headed hometo West By God when the phone rang again. It was Nathaniel inviting me to his house to meet his family. You could have knocked me over with a feather. Turns out he had gone home and told his wife everything. She had then told him to stop being an ass and I was his kid too blah blah blah. Two of the kids, Nathaniel Jr. and Debralynn were out on their own but Jake, Doug, Greg, and Amy were still at home. Nathaniel's wife, Valerie was, and is, a wonderful human being and I got on well with all of the kids, especially Jake.Â
Next episode:Â The Brother I Never Had
reguards
yer continuing drama pal
bugg
posted on May 1, 2008 2:02 AM ()
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