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The Carotid Artery and I
The Carotid Artery and I
One of the joys of getting older is having new physical worries and new medical procedures to undergo in order to either alleviate or confirm those worries.
About two months ago, I went to my doctor complaining about dizziness and…well…erectile dysfunction. (THERE! I said it. I know I said it. I’m glad I said it!) Yes, I had E.D. Are you happy to know that? Does that make you feel somehow SUPERIOR to me? HUH? DOES IT? (And I am not overly-sensitive about the issue!)
With the dizziness, my first thought was – BRAIN TUMOR!!!! (To me, that thought process was logical, since we just had a gigantic scare with my Mom and brain cancer. Based on tests of blood enzymes and image scans, she was diagnosed with an extremely aggressive form of brain cancer. However, when the doctors performed surgery two weeks ago, they removed most of the massive tumor and sent a snippet of it out to be tested. The test results came back that the tumor was benign.
For those of you who are interested, my mom is doing remarkably well right now. In fact, two days ago, she got the okay from her doctor to drive. She is, however, still experiencing tremendous headaches.)
Anyway, back to the story at hand:
The doctor prescribed Nasonex for my dizziness, thinking that my problem was caused by allergies, and Levitra for my E.D., thinking that my problem was, as she so delicately put it, part of the aging process. Levitra is one of those medications like Viagra and Cialys. On the TV commercials for this stuff there is the disclaimer that says, "After taking Levitra, if you experience an erection lasting for more than four hours, call your physician." After hearing this disclaimer, the wonderful comedian, Tim Conway, quipped, "Doctor hell! If I get an erection lasting more than four hours, I’m CALLING EVERYBODY I KNOW!"
Well, come to find out, the Nasonex cleared up my dizziness, AND my E.D. (Now, I’ve got an entire unused bottle of Levitra. It must have a healthy street value, don’t you think? "Psst! Hey buddy! Want to buy a Rolex? No? How about a hard-on?")
My Doctor, being the wonderful and thorough physician that she is, was pleased with the fact that the Nasonex seemed to be the answer for both of my problems. However, just to make sure, she scheduled me for an ultra-sound imaging appointment to check my carotid arteries. She wanted to be positive that the dizziness was not the result of restriction of these blood vessels that supply oxygen to the brain. (If these arteries get clogged with plaque or cholesterol it could lead to strokes or even sudden death.)
After calling around for an appointment at the different ultrasonic imaging centers in the area, she booked me in the one that had the first opening…The Women’s Wellness Center in Manchester, CT. The freaking WOMEN'S WELLNESS CENTER? You’ve got to be kidding me!
My doctor asked me if I had a problem with that. I said that I was fine with it as long as they didn’t try to put me in the stirrups. I have neither the correct plumbing nor the proper frame of mind for such an exam!
The procedure, as it turns out, was pretty fascinating. I had to remove my shirt, and I laid down on my back in a dimly lighted room. The technician applied some greaseless lubricant to my neck and jawline, and then placed some sort of a monitoring wand on my neck. Instantly on the TV screen there appeared an image in red, blue, black and white. It took me a moment to decipher what I was looking at, but I finally came to the conclusion that the wide swath of red on the screen was a computer-enhanced image of my carotid artery. She moved the wand up and down my neck and jaw line, following the arteries on both sides of my body.
I asked what was actually taking place on the screen, and she explained that the red stream was the carotid artery, and that arteries are vessels that carry oxygenated blood away from the heart to the other parts of the body.
The blue stream over the red one was my jugular vein. Veins are vessels that carry used, deoxygenated blood back to the heart and the lungs.
I felt like Captain Kirk being examined by Doctor McCoy in the Enterprise’s Sick Bay. It’s was just amazing that somebody could see what was going on inside my body IN REAL TIME without so much as the slightest cut or invasion!
I asked her if she could tell if everything looked all right. I half expected her to say, "Damn it, Jim! I’m just a country doctor, not a magician!" But she just nodded and said that everything looked fine, and this was a wonderful study. Fascinating.
The technician then asked me if I wanted to hear what my pulse sounded like inside my carotid arteries. Of course, I did. So she turned the volume up on the monitor, and I could have sworn that I was listening waves crashing onto the shore. She told me that I had a very strong pulse. Yes, Obi Wan! The Force is strong with this one!
The entire procedure lasted about forty-five minutes. When it was over, I was told that I could leave, and my doctor would have my results the next day.
I have yet to hear from my doctor, but I’m not worried. The flow of blood through the artery looked fairly impressive to these untrained eyes. And, even if I need to have a Roto-Rooter job done on the artery walls, I’ll do it as soon as possible. It beats the hell out of a stroke!
Ah! The joys of aging!
posted on July 31, 2008 5:31 AM ()
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Glad to hear your mom is doing so much better!
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