Okay.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not always the brightest bulb in the chandelier, especially when it comes to women.

For instance, I just found out that all of the little things I’ve been doing for years to show respect and appreciation for women have, in actuality, been sexist acts designed, albeit subconsciously, to keep women down and under my thumb.

According to a new study issued by The Society For The Psychology of Women, there is such a thing as Benevolent Sexism, and it is widespread throughout our society, and it is insidious and extremely detrimental to the feminine sex.

Some examples of Benevolent Sexism, according to the Society’s study, are: opening doors for women, allowing women to walk first into a room, complimenting women on their appearances, calling women “girls” when you do not call men “boys”, and offering to carry heavy packages for women.

And here I was all of this time, thinking that I was being polite and respectful and nice! (Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?!)

Referring to a group of men and women as “guys” is also Benevolent Sexism!

(Sheesh!!!!! Seems like you can’t even turn around with committing some terrible sexist act! How the hell can women STAND us pigs???)

I can no longer call Mary Ellen “Honey”, and, I guess, I should be offended when she calls me the same thing.

Even seemingly romantic statements, like a man proclaiming, “I cherish women” are not what they seem.  They have a much darker and hidden purpose. They objectify and degrade women.

The same is true for situations such as when a man helps a woman pick out a computer. This action, though appearing to be helpful and kind on the surface, actually says, “Let me do this for you, because you are just a woman, and, therefore, you are too stupid to make a good decision by yourself.”

I mean, who knew????

With a lot of these things, like opening doors for Mary Ellen, I actually fooling myself into  thinking that I was showing her how much I respect and love her! Instead, all of the time, I was subliminally telling her that she was beneath me, and that I was doing these things for her because she was incapable of taking care of herself!

(Honestly now! I SWEAR TO GOD that I never, ever doubted that she was strong enough to open the car door by herself, and, UPON MY LIFE, I know that she is smart enough to figure out how to do it by herself! SERIOUSLY!)

I guess it’s sexist for me to open jars for women when they can’t, or to lift heavy objects when they can’t. Conversely, I guess it’s wrong of me to ask Mary’s opinion about how to handle certain relationships with people because I perceive that she is better at such things than I am. (Thus making her different from me.)

Mary was once haying a field with a bunch of men.  She was walking behind the hay wagon with a couple of them, grabbing bales of hay off the ground and throwing them up onto the wagon.  These bales weighed about fifty pounds apiece. When the stack on the wagon got high, she picked up a bale, turned to one of the men next to her and asked him to help her by throwing the bale up on the pile.  The fellow looked at her and said, “You wanna be equal? You throw it up there yourself!”

When Mary told me that story, I just figured that the guy was a jerk. Who knew that he was being COMPLETELY POLITICALLY CORRECT?????? He was actually an enlightened human being, and, I guess, he was paying her a HUGE compliment!

We, as a society, have got to begin treating everybody the same! No matter what their sex.  That means that I am going to have to change the way I do a lot of things!

For example, when I greet a female friend of mine, I usually give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Guess I’m gonna put a halt to that in a hurry! When I meet male friends, I usually hug them, but there’s no freaking way on God’s green earth that I’m going to kiss them! Guess it’s handshakes all around from now on.

I now know that it is sexist to call a group of females women.  They are actually womyn. (No “man” or “men” there anywhere.)

The Society’s study, according to an article in The Daily Mail Reporter, claims that both men and women “are not aware of the overall prevalence and extent of sexism in their personal lives.” But, even though they are not aware of it, such regular and daily sexism only reinforces inequality and injustice.

Is it sexist to call Mary Ellen a human being? Is she actually a huwomyn being?

(*sigh!!!*)

Life is sooooooooo complicated!