From my tennis partner and also one of my Jewish friends.
He has taught me a lot about this religion.
Then that he is trying to induct me in.
I did go to his place of worship and was very impressed.
They have a female gay Rabbi and she is excellent.
It was a pleasure in speaking with her and made my feel very comfortable.




A Jewish woman goes to see her Rabbi and asks, "Yankele and Yosele are both in love with me, who will be the lucky one?"
The wise old Rabbi answers, "Yankele will marry you. Yosele will be the lucky one.
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If a married Jewish man is walking alone in a park and expresses an opinion without anybody hearing him, is he still wrong?
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My father says, "Marry a girl who has the same belief as the family." I said, "Dad, why would I marry a girl who thinks I'm a schmuck?"
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Jewish Marriage advice: "Don't marry a beautiful person. They may leave you. Of course, an ugly person may leave you too. But who cares?"
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Morris went to his rabbi for some needed advice. "Rabbi, tell me is it proper for one man to profit from another man's mistakes?"
"No Morris, a man should not profit from another man's mistakes," answered the rabbi.
"Are you sure Rabbi?"
"Of course, I'm sure, in fact I'm positive," exclaimed the Rabbi.
"OK, Rabbi, if you are so sure, how about returning the two hundred dollars I gave you for marrying me to my wife?"
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The Italian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have wine."
The Frenchman says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have cognac."
The Russian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have vodka."
The German says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer."
The Mexican says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have tequila."
The Jew says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes."
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Jewish proverb: "A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she'll never forget what she forgave."
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A Jewish congregation in suburban Toronto honours its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid. When he walks into his hotel room, he finds a beautiful nude woman lying on the bed.

She greets the Rabbi with, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a little something extra that the President of the shul arranged for you."
The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the shul and shouts, "Greenblatt, what were you thinking? Where is your respect? I am the moral leader of our religious community! I am very angry with you and you have not heard the end of this."
Hearing this, the naked woman gets up and starts to get dressed.

The Rabbi turns to her and asks, "Where are you going? I'm not angry with you."







































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