I finally finished painting my grandson's trunk. It has this Celtic cross on the back and a Claddagh on each side.

I was reading something about the impact that a death has on a family, the stress it creates and about how often couples divorce because the stress is just too much, and about how often teens resort to drugs in order to cope. I think that applies to my relationship with my oldest son. I need more than he can give, and his response may be to withdraw more from me in self defense. I have to figure out how to be less needy, especially when it comes to him.

Funny, I don't think of myself as an emotionally needy person. I tend to isolate rather than to ask anyone for help. I have to rethink a lot of things. Maybe it is time that I found a bereavement support group. I have avoided doing that, but it is past time that I do that. I don't want to emotionally beat up the people I love most because I need something that they cannot give.

I can picture Tod shaking his head and saying, "Mom, get a life", like he used to do. If I am not careful I do get lost in the trivia of everyday living and take things to heart that are truly inconsequential. Thanks for the reminder, son, where ever you are!