Dealing with the Dilemma of Inherited Items and Mementos

(Your home is NOT a museum!)



Many people think that you're obligated to keep something that was handed down, even if nobody likes the darn thing. Maybe somebody else didn't like it so they just passed it down (handed it over) to you just to unload it. Things do not have to become yours just because they belonged to a relative. You're not living that person's life, you may have different tastes, you may not have the room. So, unless you like it, you have a use for it or a desire to show it off somehow, there is nothing wrong with you giving inherited items away.

If the things you are going to get rid of are worth money, then donate them (document the worth so you can take it off your taxes), give them to another family member or someone close to the family who really does like them, or sell them. If you really do like something that was handed down to you and you really do want to keep it, then find a proper place, a "home" for it, and put it where it fits and functions best. Maybe it can be a replacement for something else. An example is, an old desk...get rid of the desk you already have and put the heirloom one in it's place.

Mementos from your own life can be even harder to part with because you relive the story when you see them. To you, it's the shirt he wore on the very first date you had with him, the man that was to become your husband. But, in reality, it's just an old, yellowed shirt with holes in it that will never be worn again. Or, it's the carved wooden puppet you got when you went to the fair but, in reality, it's nose is broken off, the fabric dress is torn, it's ugly, and it's stuffed in a drawer somewhere. The best way to deal with these things is to lay them out somewhere (and, of course, you will relive the story behind them as you do so) and then walk out of the room. Come back in and look at the items for what they really are, even if you have to have somebody else look at them with you. If an item serves no purpose, does not look good, and/or would not be liked if it weren't for the story behind it, then let it go.