If you promise yourself a few simple things, you will not lose yourself to the person and ways of the past. First of all, you all have to deal with the daily routine "stuff", the everyday responsibilities...and they won't all be fun, happy, or fair. But, you and G are a COUPLE...so you need "tea for two" time and you must find a way for that to be. On occasion, the two of you need to have a DATE...whether it's just cuddling in front of the TV, sitting out in the yard, going to a movie, having a dinner together, going off on a stroll, or just alone in a room talking your hearts out. Second, you need some "me time"...time just for you to do what you want or need to do for yourself...going to a gym, going for a walk, taking a long bath, taking a long nap, reading uninterrupted, going shopping, doing volunteer work...something without G or any of the kids, but ok if you want to be with others. Third, you need to keep communication open, share with each other...one can not afford to be self-victimizing, self-blaming, self-righteous, or suspicious, feeling dejected, or living with panic or misunderstanding. This type of communication should be encouraged with the children, too. Fourth, is family time...yes, mealtime can and should be family time if possible, as well as a movie night, a family yard clean-up day, a shopping spree, a family hike, etc., but also all should have some responsibilities toward the care of each other, the home, etc., so you truly are a family "team". Fifth is the willingness to switch places, exchange responsibilities, cover for each other, make substitutions...so that one can give another a break or helping hand, one can make a sacrifice for the benefit of another, one can ease it for another who may have another responsibility to fulfill...as long as you are not the only one who gives in, covers, fills in, substitutes, etc. All should do the same for you and each other, too. Set these as basic starting rules and you should remain fine and be happy with yourself as a person, friend, mother, lover, and friend.
I'm so happy about all the jobs, the schooling, and even your daughter getting to go to Maui (probably because I would love to go there myself someday LOL ).
Wow...I know who rules in your house!
Molly does look sweet, comfy, and content. Bostons are great dogs, aren't they? I've ever only known one well, but he was such a smart thing, and he was fun, too.
Whew! A chaotic day for you, for sure! I hope things calmed down and got better organized after this.
I knew it was too late to play this, but I wanted to read the question and see what kind of answers you got. Amazing what people will guess to be the right answer to things... what we think is obvious isn't always so obvious. Fun quiz and great prize! Yummmmmm!
Letting go is the best way to handle things that really don't make a difference unless you let them. Not letting go but discussing the more important things can help avoid (or lessen) anger, hurt, and those unattractive outbursts because the festering up is stopped. If you must learn to ask yourself questions, throw out reminders to yourself before you speak or react, then learn to do that and get in the habit of it. We must all love ourselves and not apologize for being who we are, but we must also allow for the possibility that we can always be better.
Hey, I enjoyed reading your answers. There can't be anything wrong with somebody who lists coffee as a favorite drink just like I do!
Hmmmm, doesn't sound like much a person would want to write home about. But, hey, it will all be in the past like everything else that happens and, yes, each moment is a new beginning.
Hi, hello...just thought I'd let you know that I dropped in to read your post......extremely late, I might add...but I did read it and I am here. I have been meaning to say hello and to read your posts all along for some time now, but my schedule has played a rude game of "oh, no you don't" lately and I can't seem to bring it to an end.
Anyway, I enjoyed your post...am wondering if you eventually got any of the rain you are asking for in this post...and wondering how things are going now that vacation season may be drawing to an end for a lot of people. I intend to get caught up and read more of your posts so that I will be a little more up to date.
These really are punny! No kidding, no bull!
Do you know that I still have a hard time saying no? To anybody. It's like if a person is told or asked something, then that person is needed or wanted. To say no is like disobedience or selfishness...therefore a disappointment, a failure, disrespectful, etc. I still find myself agreeing to things, accepting things that I would rather have said no to.
But, other boundaries can be made, such as some I have made, that are not necessarily good ones...boundaries that do not allow a person to enjoy things that just might be absolutely enjoyable...but there's the fear of others misreading the actions, or the fear of being too noticeable (many victims like to stay "blended in" with the crowd or in the background, never really drawing much attention to themselves). There's also a fear of being too popular, people talking about you or laughing at you...and, at other time, a victim may not really care what anybody thinks and do very irresponsible things. A lot of this comes from never learning about boundaries along the way and being able to develop them in his or her own natural way. So, boundaries end up being inconsistent, contradictory, and difficult even for the person with them to truly understand and identify/explain.
Tell him it's his responsibility for keeping it a secret from himself. He's the one that doesn't want to know, so it's up to him to avoid the news.
If he knows you are making something for the baby, then if he sees you knitting he must know enough to avoid looking at you, to go out of the room or area, turn his back or close his eyes, wear dark color-distorted glasses, or give you a designated place in the house or yard that he knows is YOUR territory so you can knit there anytime and he'll stay out/away. If he accidentally sees anything, that's HIS fault, not yours. You have a job to do and get done...he has to work around you, not you around him.
It's old, I know, but I just had to tell you that you made me chuckle with this one.
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