I have been sort of thinking of myself as a single mum for a while now. I have been slowly falling out of love with my partner for a long time now and yes, he has been living in my bedroom for a while now, tomorrow is D-Day and he has to leave and let me get on with my/our lives.

I met him online about 4 years ago, via facebook, and we spent ages just talking all day everyday on the phone, watching the same tv programmes and really, really getting to know each other. He comes from St Albans, which is just north of London and as you may know I come from a little villiage in the lovely Cornwall. I was driving my family and friends mad because they could never get hold of me becasue I was always talking to Paul and after six months he took some holiday and came down for us to finally meet and he never left!!

It really was true love and I really think that I found my soul mate. Part of the trouble is, we were both drinkers and this was, in the end most of our un-doing. I first got my problem with alcohol when I was married. It was a very, very oppressive marriage, my husband was a control freak and he basically left me with no self-confidence and a shell of who I was before I met him and I drank to cover up my unhappiness and to be able to cope with life.

That is really a whole other subject, which I may tell you one day, if you want me to, but to cut what is becoming a long subject short, we both got together with an alcohol problem. I then had my 'eureka' moment and decided that I needed to get myself together for the sake of the children and asked for help and had wonderful support and such and managed to stay sober since may 2008. Paul carried on drinking, which was fine to begin with but in January this year it became chyrstal clear that it was either the booze or the family.

I am not going into details here, but it turns out that he cannot cope with children-he had a real beef with my teenager and then, more recently started on Ross, my seven year old and I cannot have this, nor should the kids put up with it.

So tomorrow is it. The ending of an era. I am not sure that Paul is taking this seriously, oh, he will go and think, probably because I have taken him back before, but you know the straw that breaks the camel's back? Well I have reached it. I cannot have my little boy living in fear of him getting drunk and having a go at him. It is my duty as a mum to protect my chicks and that I am going to do fiercly from now on.

So yes, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life :)

xxx