Xenia's funeral was today. I said before, I'd walk if I had too (as our car was Repo'd, but we're getting it out). My buddie Craig came and got me. It was his mom.

It's like my "extended" family. She had tons of kids, and grandkids. I lived by them most of my life (most all live in the same neighborhood). So her death was kinda especially hard on me. Like I say, not for me. But for her family. I did my fair share of crying over this one.

I was way more "composed" at the funeral then I was when I wrote the last blog on the subject. Certain people I had a hard time looking at at times. Certain ones, took me awhile to go talk. I think I eventually talked to most. Of the 100 or so people at the funeral, I probably am close to 75% of them.

The only time I had a "super hard time", was when you leave the church. You can view the body and give "respects" or just leave. I considered leaving.. but I didn't. I just knew "I would be busting up in tears". Well I did, but what helped a little is I didn't look into any of the family members in the front row then. Cause I'd break down.. and they would too. Everone was already crying somewhat. I talk to all of them, but at that point even looking at them was a bad idea. Both for them and me.

It was a nice service. Super hot tho. I was wearing all black (like a suit but no tie). It was 90 degrees or something. Everyone was having problems with the heat. But we all went to watch the "burial", then back to the church to eat in mingle. Craig took me home later, after stopping at his house awhile.

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Once back home, I just went out to the garden to do some work on it. (By the way, we almost have all planted..lol). Mainly tho.. was just doing thinking. I needed to relax. I know she is in a better place then us now.. but still.. this was hard on everyone. I've known her since 5th grade.

Then, I was looking for garden tools. We don't have many here I found. The weeds are starting to grow.. so we need to be weeding. I just went into "Gary mode", and started doing a project. So I spent "hours" making an "awesome" garden hoe. LOL, serious.. it turned out very well. I should "patent" the fucker. I used the bottom of a "car jack". I took my jewelers saw, and cut these nice sharp edges. I filed it, grinded it. attached it to wood. And tried it out on the yard. It works perfect! So today wasn't all bad... lol. I still want to sharpen it more, and perfect it more. I'll do that later. Finally the bugs got to eating me.. so I had to come inside.

Anyway.. take care all,
Gary