Sybilmariee... see, not you get your own personal post from me.. lol.

Just kidding hun. I did however want to respond to what you said about Roxann's son "Stephen". Before that, I want to say a few things.

MyBloggers has became this "private" invite site. Now I never liked that idea (still don't.. I'd rather more are here), but in some ways it's good too. Every blog I write, I pretty much know who will read it (and who may read it).

It is a collection of "friends". Many of you have gotten to know me pretty good. Some "cough cough (Redwolf) are totally off base in their thoughts of me. That's ok. It's still a variety, of people that have read my blogs for years. I value your opinions (for or against me). But I do hope "at least" all get some "sense" of what I am about.

ROXANN'S SON STEPHEN:

I agree with pretty much everything you said "Sybil" (your comments on this). I agree his "problems" are bigger then I am capable of dealing with. At least not in an effective manner.

Anyone here that has read my blogs (for even a short period of time) knows I am "very" direct. I say pretty much what I think. I have exceptions.. and I'll try to explain.

Lets take "Stephen" for instance. I will "constantly" remind him of his "Hygiene". I will "constantly" remind him to pick up after himself. I will stop him in a second if he "dis-respects" his mother or me. His brother (who eggs him on, well that's between them). What I do not do, is try to make him feel "less of a person" or anything. He has so many problems, that I just try to deal with the main ones.

If I go to a show for a weekend. It's almost "certain" NOTHING he was asked to do, is done. Rather then get on him about "everything", I usually make simple comments about "simple" things he could have done. Like if he made "pizza" and rather then put the box in the "garbage" (2 feet away), he leaves it on the counter. I don't want to "overwhelm" him. I want him to "START" learning some direction. Right now, he has "absolutely" no direction.

Here's where I do "disagree" with you Sybil. Do I think Stephen needs more help? Professional help?? Absolutely!! It's really not my call though. I don't say all this to Stephen, but I am very clear to Roxann what I think. This boy has some serious problems. Deep ones. I think his family all knows this. Probably in denial mostly. He has two grandmas in his life, he has one grandpa. He has his "church", and guess what. The only one that thinks the way "I do" happens to be me. I have to keep "guiding", but in a way I also need to "step back". If this makes sense.

Stephen has been caught looking at "porn" alot. He is not allowed too. Do you think "I care about the porn". I don't at all. The porn is not my issue. Natural at that age to be curious. My issue is the "lying and deception". He will get on my computer. Look it up. Get viruses in the computer. Just lying and sneaky behavior.

Is he a bad kid? No, I don't think so. When he turns 18 (and will be soon) I will buy him a "Playboy". That will piss off alot of his "other" influences, but I will do that. Will piss off my partner Paul, his Grandma for sure. I find it "natural" to be curious.. I find "lying" wrong.

He doesn't do drugs. I can say that for a fact. I been around that scene all my life. I'll spot that in a second. I don't care "how smart" someone thinks they are.. I'd spot it. Trust me, Stephen isn't that smart.

Stephen is like 6'4" or something. He is a big kid. But kinda like a "dufus". Don't worry, he won't read this. I wouldn't say that to him. I am trying to explain the situation here "as best as I can".

One of his greatest problems (I feel), is too many influences pulling him in different directions. I think he kinda gives up. Everyone agrees some things he needs to do. Simple chores, simple hygiene, school work, simple stuff he
can do. But most often, he refuses. I let it go mostly.. hoping the others get through. But, sometimes.. I "explode". I've said before (many times, no stopping me then). Then he gets off his ass, and does things. I do that "sometimes". The reason.. he needs to know "I mean business", but I don't want to be that way all the time.

If you think I am "harsh" on him.. you would be wrong. The general thought from "everyone" is I am not harsh enough. Problem to me is.. I know his issues run deeper. I know he has a VERY fragile spirit.

I know that, because when I was young I did too. I was "pulled" in so many different directions, I couldn't handle it. I don't think they "seen" that, but I did. I wanted to "please everyone", but really couldn't totally please anyone. It "tore me" apart, because (like him) I really was trying to be a good guy.

I got over it. Took me a VERY long time. How am I known today? Take me, or leave me. I try to be "cool to all", but the chances of me "catering" to anyone are pretty much "nill". I'll help anyone with anything. I'll be the "first one" to help actually. But NOBODY (and I mean NOBODY) will control me. Nobody even tries now. Sure, many disagree with me. Sure I'll always say my thoughts. I'll respect all that have opinions or beliefs, but I'll NEVER pretend to agree if I don't. To me, they have their thoughts, I have mine. It's not "illegal" for them to be a Dick.. lol.

Stephen (In my opinion), needs to stand up for his beliefs. But in a right way. Everyone has responsibilities. Everyone needs to live up to them. I probably have the most "free" job in the world. Even at my job, I still have "responsibilities". If I am asked to make an "necklace" or something, I do it to my best ability. If I am asked to "help" I do! That gives me the "ability" to get away with ALOT of things others wouldn't. They give me my "SPACE".

Here is a case in point. Last show, I was up all night. The promoters gave out this "Huge" list of rules before. Time to be open.. all that. Said 7am or something. Well, I was awake all night kicking out the "gang types" and whoever else came in. I needed some sleep. I wasn't getting up for nothing once I finally laid down. So here I was.. 11am. All other booths were open at 7am (some way earlier). I have a tent in the middle of the show. Sleeping. Right across from the promoter. I knew nobody was gonna say "nothing to me". I knew nobody buys anything till "noon" at least. I am the "ONLY" one that could get away with that. But why? I'll tell you. I do so "well" on everything else.. I help in so many ways.. I do good work, and am a "draw". They don't want to lose me.

As I slept, the promoters (with all the rules).. Took my son Sebastian to their booth. Roxann was up. But they wanted to teach him to make "popcorn" (They sell that too), gave him candy bars. Didn't try to wake me. When I told them about the problems at a vendor booth.. they jumped right on their case. All came to apologize to me (read my last blog). When we left the show, it was "Take care Gary!! Hope to see you back soon"!

Here is the point, and what I want "Stephen" to learn. It's OK to be yourself (hell, I am an expert there). But also, when you are "up and around", don't sit there when someone needs help. Be the FIRST to help. Against the rules for me to "sleep in a tent there", but they also knew what I was doing overall. If people see the "good" you do.. you can "slide" when you need too. Stephen, does all he can do to "avoid" helping at anything.

Besides his "Hygiene", "Bad grades", and overall "laziness", I think he has a "major" sugar imbalance. He shakes like a leaf. Hell I am borderline diabetic myself. Plus I drink alot at times. I get the shakes sometimes. But his are like 100 times more then mine. His family doesn't think it's related to "sugar". I do.. and have said it alot. They think since his "Grandma" does, it's genetic or something. He NEEDS his Sugar checked. Again, not my call. All I can do is suggest. Nerves may factor in.. But I'd bet my "left nut" he is "diabetic" or "borderline diabetic".

Here is what I think of "Stephen" overall. The problems. One, he has a "sugar imbalance". Two, probably pulled in too many directions. Three, Picked on at school because of his "hygiene" (and at home.. but he needs to change that). Four, knowing he is almost an adult, knows nothing about life or the world. Five, Overall super stressed. Six, No friends, can't get a girlfriend. Seven, Knows he lies, steals at times, sneaks the porn. With his church,, probably thinks he is gonna "burn in hell".

So Sybil, Here is what I try to do. One, dispel the "myths" I know his church teaches. I studied that years. I know exactly what they "teach" and where they are wrong. What he is doing, is a natural reaction to (well both) his hormones and environment. I want him to understand the "natural", but at the same time realize "lying", sneaking, stealing, and such are wrong. I want him to "stand" up for himself, but in a way that he is not "perceived" as a nobody. I've been taking him around. He wants to get a job. He doesn't think he can. If he doesn't change, I'd agree. But if he showed some "persistence", some diligence.. he could get a job. I told him, if they don't call you on the "applications", bug the HELL outta them!! Show them "you really want it"!! You'll get "hired". If you really want it Stephen.

Anyway Sybil.. that's my thoughts for now.
Take care sweetie! Gary :)