In the past year, (or so) my good buddie "Craig" informed me his "wife died" (liver failure). Then it was his dad (old age, he was 80 something). Not long before, his 1 year old nephew died. Today, he told me his mom died (the funeral is Monday). Not long after his dad.

I can't "contain myself". I can't stop crying! I am SO connected to that family,, I just can't deal well now! All those years (I've known them since I was little), they helped my ass 100% complete. To me, they came to me "straight from God". I can't STOP CRYING.. I really can't. What should I do "people"? I really have no clue!!!

I always look at people on how they really are. Those people are the "best of the best". I know "Craig" is hurting now (but he hides it well). Maybe he's stronger then me,, "I can't stop crying". The rest of that family is super close to me. I don't think I could "muster" the strenght to say a word. It will be quite awhile before I say a word to any.

I'm gonna make the show. My brother Brian, won't be working with his "crew" (he owns a big construction company). He will be helping me. They all got a day off.. I don't like that either. They all lose income, so I have it...

Whatever.. I still can't stop "crying"!! We ALL grew up in this way. HELP when you CAN,,, we ALL follow that!!! I will till I die...

I "Can't" stop crying.. I really can't... I need to compose myself, but I can't......

Gary