I've made a few mistakes in life. I won't go into details, but I'll let you know some things I learned the "hard way". you might be able to guess, I've ran into a few problems..
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1) Bondage is cool, but make sure she's not "pissed" when she ties you to the bed. She may forget your there.

2) If you walk into a bar, don't assume they are cool just because they wear "leather jackets". Make sure it's not a "gay bar", before you tell that first fag joke.

3) Never call an IRS agent a "fucking commie bastard", you'll be in for a long ass audit.

4) Don't call your "Bitch" a Bitch.. especially when she's cooking dinner.

5) Never tell a judge to "Fuck off". This is often hard, but you will get off better if you "pretend" to be nice to the dork.

6) If you are in a pissy mood, and go to a bar. Make sure you are "good and drunk first". Punches hurt way less that way.

7) Start racing "motocross". After landing on your "head" a dozen times or so, you'll feel confident saying anything to anyone.

8) During sex, always try to remember your wife's name.

9) The proper way to say it is... "African American", always remember that.

10) Tell them how "thin" they look. No matter how fat they really are.

11) Never puke on a cops shoes. Especially of you want out of that pending DUI charge.

12) Don't wear a "pot leaf" necklace, and "pot leaf" hat if you have an "ounce" of weed on you.
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Ok, thats all for now. But I learned much more this in life. Someday, I'll tell it all!

Gary :)