I just got back from Florida with my mother. It was two weeks of sheer hell.

She had lost so much cognitive ability that it was hard to believe it was the same woman I left there in January. She screamed and swore at me and slammed the refrigerator door shut on my arm. I still have bruises.

She was/is out of her mind in many ways. She had flooded her 5th wheel sometime in Feb. but never said a word until just before I was supposed to fly down. The insurance company declared it a total loss. All that stress is probably what did it to her.

The drive back was the worst of it. Friday in mid-afternoon in the middle lane of the Atlanta Bypass (6 lanes each way going 65-70 mph) she reached over and turned off the ignition. I haven't been that frightened since I was 18, staring into the wrong end of a sawed off shotgun.

I called 911 and asked the dispatcher to stay on the line with me until help came. We got the whole dog and pony show - city and state police, ambulance and fire department. I later learned that the county "rolled" out too, but turned around when the others arrived first. I didn't care if we were a spectacle, I was so damned thankful no one crashed. Cars were swerving around us right and left and it was a miracle that they didn't hit us or each other.

I was kind of fixated on looking in the rear view mirror - guess I wanted to watch if someone rammed us. I let the car coast to a sloooowwww stop because I damned sure wasn't gonna put my foot on the brake pedal at those speeds.

She went by ambulance to the E.R. I asked for a psych consult and they refused. I begged for a psych consult. They refused. I had a pet sitter that I don't know go to my house and get my copy of the power of attorney out of my fridge and fax it to me at the hospital so I could show them I had some standing. They were more impressed, but still refused the psych consult. They just didn't want to deal with her, dammit.

The doc gave her an rx and let her go. She took two doses and then wouldn't take any more. Said she didn't like the way it made her feel. I kept telling her that it would take a few days for her to get used to it and then her body would adjust. I made that up but I thought it sounded good. I sure liked the way if made ME feel when she was on it - safe. I didn't say that aloud though.

This morning the memory doc's office called to say she had tried to cancel all of her appointments with them. They were letting me know - but hadn't canceled any. I asked them to get the records from the E.R. visit.

Someone is going to have to help me get her to the doc next week. I can't sneak it in by taking her to lunch - it's at 8:30 a.m. and she doesn't do mornings.

For a while at the hospital I felt like I was going to have an episode. It was all I could do to keep from curling up into the fetal position and hiding under the furniture. I wonder if they would have given ME a psych consult?