One year ago during this time little did I know my life would be altered by the death of my husband on May 31st. At a tender age of 54 he repeatedly said he would never see the age of 60. How could a man like him be so tuned into his body and know he would have a short life? His words echoed on Saturday morning November 1 as he came up the stairs all out of breath and said he may need to go to the hospital and I said yes and that he probably has pneumonia and he said he was afraid to go because he said "I don't have just pneumonia I also have cancer" Of course I shrugged that off and said no and he should go now. He didn't want to and waited until Sunday at 5:00 to go up. Sunday around 7:00 pm we received the news he already knew. I ask why if he knew he waited that long but I didn't. It wasn't important now as finding out what type of cancer he had in which was lung cancer.

On Friday May 21st he called on the intercom and says call the ambulance but this time I am not coming home rang through my ears. I hung up the phone and bolting down the stairs seeing him struggling for air. I just assumed the pneumonia was catching up to him again in which it was however; by Thursday he is on the life support and he is struggling to breath on his own. All this was so fast and I never imagined I be watching my husband dieing as he could no longer speak to me and I have so much more to say to him and for some reasons the words just couldn't come out as I became so numb. Mostly I wanted to hear him talk to me and tell me he loved me one last time. It was so unfair and I felt so hurt for him and not so much angry at the cancer but so sorry that he became sick and spent 8 months being sick instead of enjoying his new grandson. He was robbed of that and so May 31st the life support kicked on 100%. He no longer could breath and quietly went home to God.

Where has this year gone I have no idea. A friend told me that I will be so numb I will have no recollection of the year and she was so right. I am slowly coming back to life and about to put the house on the market and try to decide where to go and do with my life. I have been in college for a year now. I started last year 3 days after I buried my husband. There were times I wanted out but I told the girl who signed me up to not let me give up. I think I need to pay her a visit since she was right there on the phone when he died.

One day we shall see each other again....RIP